I don’t feel like writing today. I also don’t feel like Christmas shopping, or wrapping the few gifts I bought yesterday, or going to the grocery store, or cleaning the kitchen, or thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight, or picking up the books and papers from around my office, or reading submissions, or answering emails. I feel a bit like Jack Nicholson in The Shining, all work and no play makes Kim a dull girl.
I need a free day to just have fun. Although, I sometimes struggle with the concept of having fun. Does it have to be playful? Or adventurous? Or a special event? Does it involve laughter and other people? Or can it be quiet and relaxing? I really enjoyed the Star Wars last night, but would I describe that as having fun?
I loved the throw-back aspect of the story and the way they worked the original characters into the story. It felt much like putting on an old comfortable pair of slippers. So I suppose that was definitely fun. But I was troubled by my son’s reaction to the movie. He was disappointed that there wasn’t anything spectacular or different about the way they approached the story. He clearly wouldn’t have described the whole experience as fun. In fact, he likened his feelings about the movie to the way he feels when Michigan State loses a football game. But I don’t think it had anything to do with the movie itself. It probably was one of those unexpected consequences of grief.
Matt was by far the biggest movie buff in our family. His knowledge of movies and directors was nothing short of amazing. A few days ago we were having a discussion about Al Pacino, and I asked what did he get an Oscar for. We looked it up on Google. Matt would have been able to tell us not only the movie, but the director and if that director had won for any other movies**. The was always a big build up for blockbusters like Star Wars, and after the movie he would give a post-movie commentary.
I noticed his absence, too. I always do. Last night when they ran the previews of the next X-men movie, I remembered the way he talked me through the last X-men movie. Memories like that make me smile. And as we left the movie theater, I wondered what he would have thought about the movie.
The more I think about it, I did have fun last night.
Fun doesn’t have to have a ton of excitement and special effects. If you come away from the activity feeling a sense of satisfaction and enjoyment, then it was fun. Truth is every time I finish one of these blogs I come away with a huge sense satisfaction. So maybe writing is fun, too. It’s all in the way you think about it. Of course, cleaning the kitchen or grocery shopping may require a lot more thought.
Until next time. . .
** Al Pacino won best actor in 1993 for Scent of a Woman. The director was Martin Brest, who also directed Meet Joe Black (1998) and Beverly Hills Cop (1984).