FLOW
I’m at the beach this week and was very tempted to skip my blog. But as I watched the waves roll toward the shore, it occurred to me that I needed to stay in the flow of writing. There will always be something else to do other than write. So, we have to resist the temptation to stop.
If you’re in the flow of things, stay there. If you’re not, catch that next wave.
MOMENTUM
Last night, my son asked why I stopped writing my blog. The question surprised me. I didn’t realize he read it regularly enough to know I hadn’t written anything in a few weeks. I have had this mental block since February when I went on an unexpected birthday trip to Charleston. I didn’t write my normal Monday post because I wanted to enjoy my vacation. Then the next week I had a trip to Chicago for AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Programs). I was too focused on networking with other writers to do any writing. And once I got back from Chicago, I headed off to Napa Valley with my husband. Who can write when there is wine to be tasted?
Through the course of all that traveling, I lost the energy needed to write the series on women writers. I no longer had the internal drive to get the work done. To be honest, I just didn’t care any more. It felt too much like a chore. Then I received another rejection letter, and I wondered if it was even worth it to spend time writing at all. Thank God I have a friend from my writing group who won’t leave me alone. If it weren’t for her, I probably wouldn’t have written anything at all last month. I completely lost my momentum. I could spend the rest of this post speculating on why, but I doubt that would be very motivating.
Writing is kind of like exercising. When you’re in the flow, you don’t have to force yourself to go to the gym. You just go. There is something in your body pushing you forward, driving your behavior. You want to workout. Your body craves it. The movement feels good. You can’t imagine why you would ever stop. But then something happens. You miss a day because you’re tired, and then the next thing you know it has been two months since the last time you worked out. You have to build your momentum again. You have to push yourself in order to get back into the flow.
Well, that’s what this post is all about. I’m putting myself in motion. I’m rebuilding my writing momentum. It’s not easy. But the development of a process creates energy to drive our behavior. So today I worked out for an hour and now I’m at my desk, writing.
Where do you need to build momentum? What do you need to make happen?
Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within is the one book – other than the Bible – that has had the greatest influence on my life. Prior to reading it, my writing was sporadic at best. Ideas would float in and out of my mind, but I wasn’t committed to a regular schedule. I wrote when the mood hit me or when I had time, which wasn’t often with three young children. Though I always had the desire to write, I couldn’t figure out how to make it fit into my life. I shared this with a co-worker and she recommended Goldberg’s book.
Each short chapter suggested practical ways to approach writing, giving the reader a variety of techniques and methods to work with. My favorite technique is timed writing exercises, which Goldberg calls a “basic unit of writing practice.” She suggests that you time yourself for a specific amount – say ten minutes, twenty minutes or even an hour – to write. The specific amount of time doesn’t matter only that you commit yourself to the full period. Goldberg pairs the timed writing exercise with the idea of free writing. She list five rules:
- Keep your hand moving. (Don’t pause to reread the line you have just written. That’s stalling and trying to get control of what you’re saying.)
- Don’t cross out. (That is editing as you write. Even if you don’t mean to write, leave it.)
- Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, and grammar. (Don’t even care about staying within the margins and lines on the page.)
- Lose control.
- Don’t think. Don’t get logical.
- Go for the jugular. (If something comes up in your writing that is scary or naked, dive right into it. It probably has lots of energy.)
Writing Down the Bones
[Years later, I learned Goldberg was referring to theories of the writing process developed by Peter Elbow. Though I used Elbow’s books Writing Without Teachers and Writing With Power in my composition classes, I always thought Goldberg’s book made those theories accessible.]
Goldberg relates free writing to what she calls “first thoughts” and explains their importance this way:
These are the rules. It is important to adhere to them because the aim is to burn through to first thoughts, to the place where energy is unobstructed by social politeness or the internal censor, to the place where you are writing what your mind actually sees and feels, not what it thinks it should see or feel.
This idea was revolutionary to me. It allowed me to just write without worrying if it sounded ‘right’ or was grammatically correct. It gave me permission to freely connect with my thoughts and ideas. I began to develop as a writer. I regularly scheduled fifteen-minute blocks three times a week to write in my notebook. Those few minutes became a refuge from my busy life as a working mother. There would be days when I would pull into the parking lot at a park to write before picking up my kids from day care. Learning how to access my first thoughts helped me to begin to trust my own thinking. I filled notebook after notebook with free writing. The free writing began to turn into stories. After three years of regular writing practice, I found myself enrolled in a master’s level Written Communications program.
Writing Down the Bones taught me that I have something important to say. It helped me to believe in myself as a writer. The very first article I ever had published was developed from a free write I wrote shortly after I started reading Goldberg’s book. As a result, I firmly trust the process of free writing and first thoughts. So much so that twenty- four years later I still begin my writing time with a timed free write. The act of writing uninhibited by censorship and editing has led to countless discoveries and answered many questions. However, Goldberg’s greatest influence on me is how I think about writing. I firmly believe that we become good writers when we trust the writer within. That small voice inside holds the key to creativity and truth.
I have preached the concepts in this book so much over the years that I can’t tell you how many times I have recommended it or given away my own copy. I should probably see if there is a way for me to get a commission from the publisher.
If you haven’t read Writing Down Bones, go get a copy today.
Helensadornementsblog just started a series called, Ten Influential Women Who Have Influenced My Life and Inspired Me. The blog features a post about how each of the women on the list has played a part in how Helen makes daily decisions and lives her life. It reminded me of all women writers who have guided me throughout my journey as a writer. But the following ten women have had the most powerful impact:
Natalie Goldberg
Anne Lamott
Anna Quindlen
Kate Chopin
Bebe Moore Campbell
Dorothy West
Judy Blume
Virginia Woolf
Joyce Carol Oates
Sylvia Path
I’ve read several books by each. Though the themes and styles vary, they all write about the complexity of life as a woman and/or writer. I’ve learned much from their work. I owe every woman on the list a ton of gratitude.
My plan is to celebrate these women by writing a post about each one, including a brief biography, overview of the works I’ve read, and a lesson I’ve learned about writing. I also hope to throw in a favorite quotes and/or scenes.
I’m really looking forward to this series. I hope you’ll share who has influenced your work along the way.
CELEBRATE
Today would have been my grandmother’s 90th birthday. Growing, I always thought we had a special bond because our birthdays were only three days apart. I would sit in the kitchen as a child and watch her cook. She made the best peach cobbler. It wasn’t pretty, but I’ve never tasted one better. When I first got married I’d call her every time I made gravy. She would talk me through it. Her stories about growing up in Mississippi inspired me to write my first novella, The Only Way. I attribute much of who I am as a woman and a mother to her teaching. I would love to be able to hold her soft hands one more time.
Today, I start my birthday week remembering my grandma and celebrating her life.
HOPE
I haven’t been feeling very hopeful, lately. The submission/rejection dance has been quite discouraging. Though I try to find peace in the writing itself, I can’t ignore the yearning for validation that haunts me every time I sit at my computer. Saturday afternoon I was in the midst of a pretty big pity-party when I received an email informing me that one of my previous students from North Central College was stabbed while trying to break up a fight at a jazz club.
I hadn’t thought about this student in a while, but the moment I saw Shaun Wild’s name I remembered how much I enjoyed having him in my class. He always sat in the row of desks next to the window. Though many of the juniors and seniors in class didn’t believe they needed advanced composition, Shaun fully engaged in the writing process. His group had one of the best group projects in the class. Shaun had the same a positive affect on other students and faculty at North Central and was also highly regarded at the Naperville elementary school where he taught second grade. Saturday night the college held a prayer vigil to honor his memory.
As I tried to process this tragic loss, I thought about a picture I had taken years ago at Arlington National Cemetery before the cherry blossoms were in bloom. I noticed in the midst of a cluster of tombstones one small blooming tree. It reminded me that regardless of our circumstances, there is always hope.
This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:21-23 NKJV
Maizy and I have faithfully been attending obedience training every Friday morning for the last two weeks. The morning starts off with socialization and playtime. The dogs and owners gather in this beautiful fenced yard. The idea is to give the dogs an opportunity to burn off energy before they go into the structure of class time. It also teaches them how to interact with other dogs.
I was really nervous about Maizy interacting with other dogs. She doesn’t exactly play well others. My son took her to Pet Smart and she bit another dog on the nose. The training and behavior manager, Mailey McLaughlin, explained that the dogs needed to learn to interact with one another. Apparently, some dogs need to be growled at in order to learn to respect other dogs. And if they got too rowdy in the play yard, Mailey sprays them with her super-soaker to break up the negative interaction –which works really well, by the way.
The first week Maizy was apprehensive and didn’t stray too far away from my son or me. But she didn’t bite any of the other dogs, so I was really happy.
The second week she was a bit more adventurous. She briefly mingled with the other dogs, but never fully engaged. She seemed to prefer to explore the yard alone. A few times I noticed her watching the other dogs from a distances. Like a first time mother, I wanted to encourage her to go play with the other dogs, thinking she would have so much more fun if she would go and play. But then it occurred to me that Maizy reminded me of myself whenever I participate in a writers’ group.
No matter how excited I am about getting together with other writers, I feel some apprehensive about sharing my writing. I know there are places in it where I have held back or haven’t really fully engaged. And in some ways I’m a lot like Maizy – ready to bite someone’s head off if they get too close. I get frustrated when the group challenges my work. By challenge I mean question the development of the story or express confusion in a scene. Their comments seem to confirm the fear that if I knew what I was doing, I would get it right the first time. And then when I read their work, I get discouraged because they seem to get it – whatever it is. I feel as if I am in over my head. I vacillate between thinking the group doesn’t know what they are talking about and questioning whether or not I should write at all. Sounds schizophrenic, doesn’t it.
But as I watched the dogs socialize and play, it occurred to me that even if Maizy doesn’t engage in the play she is still learning from the other dogs. She will keep her distance until she feels safe enough to engage. And I’m guessing by the end of the six weeks she’ll be more comfortable with the other dogs.
Perhaps the writing lesson is that writers need writer’s groups and workshops for the same reasons the dogs need playtime and socialization – to burn off stream (pent up anxiety or stress) and to learn to interact with other writers (and readers). We need to get out of our heads. See what other people are working on. Give our ideas an opportunity to run around and be heard.
The resistance we have to being critiqued lies in the fact that we look at feedback as criticism rather than an exercise to engage our thinking. The conversations we have in our groups create synergy so that even when you discuss someone else’s work, you gain insight into your own work. I’ve been a part of a writers’ group for several years. Our monthly meetings keep me writing. Their feedback – positive and negative – has played an integral part in my growth as a writer. But I know I don’t get as much out of the group as I could if I fully engaged in my writing.
Maizy and I go back to class later today. I can’t wait to see what she does during socialization and playtime. I don’t meet with my writing group again until the end of the month, but my plan is to write with abandon so that the next time we meet I’m fully engaged in the process.
PLANNING
Blogging has really challenged my writing life. Two to three times a week I have to figure out what to write. Sometimes a topic is so strong on my heart that I feel compelled to write. But then there are those days when I struggle to find an idea.
That’s where planning comes in. You know the saying, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” Of course, the issue is time. And if you’re anything like me, you’d rather just jump into you’re task. However, planning gives you a road map of sorts. If you know you’re going to work on something later in the week, planning gives your ideas time to geminate. You don’t have to be bound by it. It’s a place to start.
Take a minute today to plan out your writing week.
My morning started off promising. Last night I started to revise a chapter from a novel I wrote a few years ago. Words and ideas flowed like a well-fed spring. But instead of going back to what I was working on last night, I decided to check my email. I should have known my day was off course when I spent twenty minutes (probably longer) responding to an ongoing discussion related to a project I’m working on. Formulating my thoughts soaked up the little bit of creativity I had. I tried to savage my day by working on an unfinished blog. But when I heard the chime that signaled I had another email, I took the bait.
It was a message from a woman who attends the same church I do. She had just found my contact information on her desk and had some volunteer opportunities I might be interested in. A few months ago I was looking for something to get involved with, but I had dismissed working with her organization because it was pregnancy center.
My first inclination was to respond to her email by saying that I too busy to help. I even wrote the email, but then I deleted it. I felt I owed her a better explanation, but I didn’t want to say what I was really thinking. I tried to go back to writing my blog, but I was blocked. I turned off my computer and grabbed a craft book to read. But I kept thinking about the email. Then it occurred to me, my silence on the subject was dangerous not only to me, but to my writing.
Now before you jump to your own opinions about the subject of abortion, hear me out. I have completely given my life to Jesus Christ. He is the Lord and Savior of my life. I have chosen to live my life in a way that would be pleasing to Him. That includes adhering to certain values. So I don’t believe abortion is the right. However, I also don’t believe I can make that decision for another woman. I praise God that I have never been in a situation where I considered it an option. But my heart aches for the women who have.
So my problem isn’t so much that the organization tries to give women an alternative, as it is the way they go about it. Their website opens the home page with a song that starts like a steady heartbeat. The information they provide uses phrases like “death of the embryo” to shame women for considering abortion. Maybe it’s the writer in me that has a problem with the covert way of they communicate their message. Or maybe I believe that a woman in a pregnancy crisis needs honesty and support without the hidden agenda.
Now, understand I would never personally recommend that a woman have an abortion. However, I respect a woman’s right to choose. Does that make me a bad Christian? I’ve struggled silently with that question, especially since neither of the camps offers the peace I need to resolve my thinking about the subject. There is so much more to the issue that never gets discussed. One side never tells you about the remorse a woman feels years after her decision. The other side never tells you about the child who grows up wondering if his or her parent would have been better off if he or she hadn’t been born. I’m particularly familiar with that one. I was the product of an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy. There were some who advocated that my mother have an abortion, but she decided to have her baby. And since both of my parents were Christians, there was a shotgun wedding. They had a horrible marriage. Once I learned the math of gestation, I started to blame myself for their problems. As a child I reasoned that if I had never been born, they would have had a better life. It wasn’t until I was in high school that I actually shared that thought with a friend. Bless her for telling me I had nothing to do with their decision to get in that predicament in the first place.
So when I think about abortion, I can’t find any comfort in taglines or easy solutions. The crisis of an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy is too complicated for that.
Being open in this post scares the crap out of me. I fear it will alienate people on both sides. But being a confident writer means not letting fear silence your voice.
So the writing lesson here is don’t back away from topics or issues that frighten you. There may be something that you write that speaks to another person. Even if it doesn’t, you have expressed something that needed to be said. And that is what writing is all about.
DREAM
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.’
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR
We all have a dream that God has placed on our heart. It plays a part in His plan for the world. Take a step today to live out your dream.
