It has been a hellish week! Nothing like Peanuts to bring a smile to your face.
HAPPY FRIDAY
Category: Images
Back to School Blues
School is back in, which usually means it’s time to get back into a productive routine. But for the first time in eighteen years, I don’t have to take anyone to school. My daughter is a junior in high school and drives herself. So consequently, the beginning of the school year doesn’t mean I have to get organized. I don’t even have to get out of bed at any particular time. In fact, the only thing that woke me up this morning was my daughter yelling good-bye on her way out the door. And though I used to fantasize about how much I’d get done when my schedule was no longer defined by the school day, this week has been a total flop. I’ve accomplished less this week than any other week this summer. The first two days I crawled right back into bed after my daughter left and slept another two hours.
I thought maybe I had a bug or something. But today I decided it could be depression.
I’ve been a mother for twenty-three and a half years. Caring for my children has always structured my day, even when I worked full-time. I’d get up, take a shower, get dressed and then wake up the kids. Once they were dressed, I’d give them breakfast. We’d be out the door before 7:30 so I could be at work by 8. I tried to make their mornings as relaxed as I could. I didn’t want my kids to have memories of me yelling “hurry up” all morning like I had of my own mother. But as they leisurely ate their cereal, I suppressed a tremendous sense of guilt. I worried that I wasn’t giving them enough time and that I was going to miss some big milestone while they were at day care. Things got easier once they started elementary school. My husband had a new job that made it possible for me to work part-time. I arrange my schedule so that I worked while the kids were in school. It was the best of both worlds. I didn’t have a lot time of writing back then. I believed I would be able to write more once I wasn’t bound by my kid’s school schedule. In many ways, that was true. But as recently as last year, I seemed to only hit my stride about the time I needed to leave to pick up my daughter from school. I looked forward to this school year so she could drive herself.
This past Monday morning, a group of parents, including dads dressed for work, waited with cameras for the school bus to pick up their children. I wanted to join them and celebrate the first day of school. But instead I took a few pictures of my daughter before she climbed in her car. As I watched her turn at the corner, the last thing I wanted to do was write.
I decided to give myself the rest of this week to settle into this part of motherhood. After all, she is my baby. But starting next Monday I’m back on track with a fresh set of writing goals for the 2012-2013 school year.
Five Ways to Refresh Your Writing
Nothing kills creativity like being stuck in a writing rut. Circling around the same old tired topics make writing flat and uninspiring. And if you’re like me, you find yourself avoiding your writing time. The kitchen has to be cleaned. The dogs fed. Facebook checked. But there are five ways you can breath new life into your writing.
1. Take an excursion to some new in your community.
Visiting somewhere new stimulates our senses. I recently went to an art fair in an
Atlanta neighborhood. The architecture of the homes was so different than the suburb where I live.
People hung art on their siding. The houses were painted wild and interesting colors. It made me think about the differences between someone who would live those homes and someone in the suburbs. I started to do little character sketches in my mind. I regretted not having my camera to capture what I saw.
2. Look at old photos
Photographs are excellent writing prompts. But old photos elicit memories and images of time gone by. I came across on an old photograph of my grandparents’ house. 
It was taken before I was born. The neighborhood looked different, but the house was exactly the same. As I studied the picture, I was reminded of the generations that had grown up in and around that house. I remembered the warm summer evenings sitting on the porch, rocking back and forth on the glider.
I also found a picture of me as the flower girl in my aunt’s wedding. My mind drifted back to the days before smart phones and cable television. It made me want to write about that little girl’s world.
3. Visit an antique store
There are so many interesting items in antiques stores. There have tons of jewelry, coins, furniture, household tools, dishes and clothing to spark your imagination. You could write about how a particular item wound up in the shop or use as a prop in your story. The Secret Lives of Dresses is a novel about a woman who discovers each dress in her grandmother’s vintage dress shop has a special story.
4. Eavesdrop
I had mixed emotions about adding this to the list. But to be honest, I have gotten some the best lines from things that I’ve overheard at the grocery store. Of course, restaurants are wonderful because of the interaction between people as they eat. Sometimes I pay more attention to what’s going on at other tables than my own. Some might call that nosy, but I call it research. In fact, I wrote an entire short story from a conversation I heard while waiting at a restaurant bar for my girlfriends. I was so inspired that I woke up the next morning writing. It was exciting to have a fresh idea to work with.
5. Change your perspective
We often write from our own perspective. I always look at the story or the issue through the eyes of a woman. However, sometimes I switch perspectives to get a better view of the story. It helps me to see the situation differently. I end up noticing things I wouldn’t have otherwise. I begin to understand what motivates people to do and think like they do. I wrote a story years ago about a woman who left her husband. One of the writing groups I shared it with said she was a complete bitch. I was so angry about their assessment. I ended up abandoning the story after several rejections. Recently, I rewrote the story from her husband’s perspective. Not only did it help me to get a more complete picture of the story, it also helped me to see why the other group thought she was a bitch.
There are a ton of other things you can do to refresh your writing, but I’m going to stop here.
How do you liven things up in your writing?
Related articles
- The Literary Scene in Palestine (arablit.wordpress.com)
- Are you unpredictable? [Susanne Palm] (ecademy.com)
More Writing Tips from Obedience Training
Maizy and I have faithfully been attending obedience training every Friday morning for the last two weeks. The morning starts off with socialization and playtime. The dogs and owners gather in this beautiful fenced yard. The idea is to give the dogs an opportunity to burn off energy before they go into the structure of class time. It also teaches them how to interact with other dogs.
I was really nervous about Maizy interacting with other dogs. She doesn’t exactly play well others. My son took her to Pet Smart and she bit another dog on the nose. The training and behavior manager, Mailey McLaughlin, explained that the dogs needed to learn to interact with one another. Apparently, some dogs need to be growled at in order to learn to respect other dogs. And if they got too rowdy in the play yard, Mailey sprays them with her super-soaker to break up the negative interaction –which works really well, by the way.
The first week Maizy was apprehensive and didn’t stray too far away from my son or me. But she didn’t bite any of the other dogs, so I was really happy.
The second week she was a bit more adventurous. She briefly mingled with the other dogs, but never fully engaged. She seemed to prefer to explore the yard alone. A few times I noticed her watching the other dogs from a distances. Like a first time mother, I wanted to encourage her to go play with the other dogs, thinking she would have so much more fun if she would go and play. But then it occurred to me that Maizy reminded me of myself whenever I participate in a writers’ group.
No matter how excited I am about getting together with other writers, I feel some apprehensive about sharing my writing. I know there are places in it where I have held back or haven’t really fully engaged. And in some ways I’m a lot like Maizy – ready to bite someone’s head off if they get too close. I get frustrated when the group challenges my work. By challenge I mean question the development of the story or express confusion in a scene. Their comments seem to confirm the fear that if I knew what I was doing, I would get it right the first time. And then when I read their work, I get discouraged because they seem to get it – whatever it is. I feel as if I am in over my head. I vacillate between thinking the group doesn’t know what they are talking about and questioning whether or not I should write at all. Sounds schizophrenic, doesn’t it.
But as I watched the dogs socialize and play, it occurred to me that even if Maizy doesn’t engage in the play she is still learning from the other dogs. She will keep her distance until she feels safe enough to engage. And I’m guessing by the end of the six weeks she’ll be more comfortable with the other dogs.
Perhaps the writing lesson is that writers need writer’s groups and workshops for the same reasons the dogs need playtime and socialization – to burn off stream (pent up anxiety or stress) and to learn to interact with other writers (and readers). We need to get out of our heads. See what other people are working on. Give our ideas an opportunity to run around and be heard.
The resistance we have to being critiqued lies in the fact that we look at feedback as criticism rather than an exercise to engage our thinking. The conversations we have in our groups create synergy so that even when you discuss someone else’s work, you gain insight into your own work. I’ve been a part of a writers’ group for several years. Our monthly meetings keep me writing. Their feedback – positive and negative – has played an integral part in my growth as a writer. But I know I don’t get as much out of the group as I could if I fully engaged in my writing.
Maizy and I go back to class later today. I can’t wait to see what she does during socialization and playtime. I don’t meet with my writing group again until the end of the month, but my plan is to write with abandon so that the next time we meet I’m fully engaged in the process.
Writing Fuel