Category: Quotes

Goal Setting · Quotes

Planning Your Work, Working Your Plan

confidentwriterLeave a comment

 

Summer is officially over.  It’s time to buckle down.  But it may be hard to get back into a routine if your productivity dropped off significantly during the last few months.  All the things you meant to do but didn’t get to may be spinning around in your head. That’s why you need a PLAN to help you focus on exactly what you want to get accomplished.

If you think about it, that’s just what schools do when they use a syllabus or a study plan. They outline the subject so that the objectives of the class are broken up into bite-size task. That way the students know what has to be done and can plan their time.

Now in the spirit of full disclosure, I have to confess I cringe at the thought of writing a syllabus. I used to put off writing them until the last possible moment and would end up scrambling before my first class to get it together. However, the activity of drafting a syllabus always helped me to think through the structure of the course. I’d build on what worked in the past and improve what didn’t.  I’d also think about timing and workflow.

I had a similar experience with writing study plans.  When I was a M.F.A. student, we had to write a new study plan at the beginning of each semester. Back then I thought they were a pain in the ass, but in retrospect they helped me to break up the work into manageable pieces.  I knew just how much I needed to complete in a given week.  And at the end of the semester, I could see tangible evidence of my progress.

So here’s how to develop your PLAN:

  1. Look back at your previous list of goals and write a few sentences listing your   accomplishments since January.  When we can acknowledge our successes, we’re more motivated to work on new goals.
  2. List five things you’d like to accomplish before the end of the year.  Write a positive action-oriented sentence for each item.  Example: I will write three new short stories.
  3. Ask yourself, what tasks have to be completed each month to move you closer to your goal.  Write a monthly task list. Make sure each item is measurable.  Example: Read one novel. Send out 10 resumes.
  4. Pick one day at the end of the month to check your progress. If you’ve completed your task for the month, give yourself a day or two to relax. It will motivate you to keep working your PLAN.
  5. Create a reward list for the successful completion of your PLAN.

Remember —

If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.

Harvey MacKay

 

Books · Quotes

A Life Lesson from Edith Wharton

confidentwriterLeave a comment

 

I finally finished House of Mirth from my summer reading list. I wanted to abandon it several times, but it felt like cheating to not to read any of the classics off the list. I tried to read Lady Chatterly’s Lover several years ago on the beach in Aruba. Needless to say that was a bust.

Anyway, it took me over a month to get through it. I have to admit I didn’t love the book. I liked Age of Innocence much better, which isn’t hard to believe since it won the Pulitzer Prize in 1921. Nonetheless, I kept reading House of Mirth becauseWharton’s fictional world of wealthy New Yorkers reminded me of the contemporary struggles between upper and middle class. Unfortunately, in today’s world your socio-economic level can effect more than how you’re viewed in society or what party you’re invited to. It can mean losing your job while the CEO continues to be paid 231 times more than the average employee [“Are they worth it?” The Economist]. Wharton’s commentary on self-indulgence is as relevant today as it was in 1905.

But the most profound message from the book came from the following quote:

Miss Farrish could see no hope for her friend [Lily Bart, the protagonist] but in a life completely reorganized and detached from its old associations; whereas all Lily’s energies were centered on the determined effort to hold fast to those associations, to keep herself visibly identified with them, as long as the illusion could be maintained.

 

Lily Bart had been exiled from her familiar world of indulgent wealth, because many believed that she had an affair with a wealthy man. And though she didn’t enjoy interacting with the people who belonged to that world, she couldn’t let go. Her own identity was too closely tied to the perceptions of other people and the trappings of wealth. Letting go would have meant giving up who she thought she was. So she continued to strive for the life she thought she should have rather than the one that had the possibility of affording real happiness and love.

It reminds me of a picture I once saw on Facebook with two circles: one labeled “Your comfort zone” and the other labeled “Where the magic happens.” Lily’s behavior is much like our own when we are unwilling to a take a risk because it involves letting go of our perceptions of ourself. Sometimes detaching from “old associations” and reorganizing our lives is the very thing we need improve our circumstances. But instead, we use our energy to maintain the illusion of being satisfied with the status quo.

It happens to me more times than I care to admit. I resist some change because I’m afraid I might lose the comfort of the status quo. I spend way too much energy trying to maintain the illusion of who I think people think I am. the But defining one’s self by the perception of other is the very thing that drove Lily to her tragic end.

House of Mirth has stood the test of time because it speaks to the universal truth that It doesn’t matter what other people think. We each have to live our own lives.

 

 

Inspirational Musing · Quotes

Stop and Listen

confidentwriter4 Comments

 

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him as a guest. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he said. But Martha was distracted with all the preparations she had to make, so she came up to him and said, “Lord, don?t you care that my sister has left me to do all the work alone? Tell her to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things, but one thing is needed. Mary has chosen the best part; it will not be taken away from her.

Luke 10:38-42 (NET)

Whenever I hear this story, I tune it out. It reminds me of the mornings when I come downstairs to write only to find a disaster in my kitchen. It’s particularly annoying when I know I specifically instructed one of my children to take care of it the night before. And then there are the times when no one can remember whose week it is so the solutions is just to leave it. My personal favorite is the late night culinary experiments. More cakes get baked at my house between midnight and three a.m. than any other time.

I try to get around the mess by moving a few things to make my morning smoothie, but end up completely cleaning the kitchen. So by the time I finally get to my office to write, I’m fuming. Sometimes, I manage to get over it fairly quickly and can get my writing done. But more often than not, I’m too busy sulking about the fact that no one respects my writing time to get anything done.

So needless to say, I totally get Martha.

But I had an epiphany.

Martha was worried and distracted by many things and Jesus responded by saying only one thing is needed. He made a specific distinction between many things and one thing. I use to think the contemporary version of sitting at the feet of the Lord was to drop everything I was doing, and spend hours studying the Bible in-depth. But that never seemed possible to me because if I did that nothing would ever get done at my house. But fortunately our God is a practical God. He wasn’t suggesting we never do our work. He simply instructs us as to how to accomplish more with less distraction and worry. He says Mary has chosen the best part. She stopped and listened. She focused on one thing.

The Lord speaks in a quiet voice and if we are distracted and worried we won’t be able to hear Him. Maybe the lesson in the story of Martha and Mary is to not get caught up in our distractions, but to spend time with the Lord first so that he can direct our steps.

I tried it recently. I read my devotional and then I asked, “What would you have me do today?” When I got done with my prayer time, it was clear to me that I should spend the day sending off submissions.

The kitchen was a mess, but I ignored it and went straight to my office. I finished up the revision of my short story, sent off six different submissions and wrote out a revision plan for a chapter in my novel. By focusing on one thing at a time I  got much more accomplished. And was less worried and distracted and nicer person to be around.

Take some time today to stop and listen. Your day will go much smoother.

 

Motivating Word · Quotes

Motivating Word

confidentwriter2 Comments

SAILING

We usually think of sailing as traveling across the sea in boat with sails. But today think of it as moving through your day and your week smoothly and confidently.

The ship of my life may or may not be sailing on calm and amiable seas. The challenging days of my existence may or may not be bright and promising. Stormy or sunny days, glorious or lonely nights, I maintain an attitude of gratitude. If I insist on being pessimistic, there is always tomorrow. Today I am blessed.

Maya Angelou

Quotes · The Writing Life

My Little Secret

confidentwriter4 Comments

I’ve been keeping a secret from the followers of this blog. I’m not quite sure why I haven’t written about it before. Nonetheless, here it is.

I started a literary magazine designed to celebrate the creativity and wisdom in every woman. It’s called Minerva Rising. The idea came to me in January while I was planning my goals for the year. One of my goals was to get my short stories into a literary goal. I went through the Literary Journal and Magazine database on Poets and Writers, but most of the journals seemed too experimental or academic for my stories. None of them focused on the everyday life of women. I began to imagine a literary journal that would publish the types of stories women share with one another – kind of like a girl’s night out in print.

Girl’s night out is so important because it’s a time when women get together to share the stories of their lives. Sure there’s lots of wine and martinis, but there is also a strong sense of camaraderie. Women are empowered through the exchange of ideas and the sharing of experiences. There’s a communal understanding of the various roles we play and the sacrifices we make. We find validation and acceptance.

Toni Morrison says:

“If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”

So I decided to start the journal I wanted to read.

Now this isn’t the first time I’ve thought of starting a magazine. Nine years ago, I bought the book Starting & Running a Successful Newsletter or Magazine by Cheryl Woodard.

But I actually never read it. I simply came up with a theme for the first issue and wrote the letter from the editor. I asked a friend to join the effort, but it never got much further than my letter and an unfinished article of friendship.

But this time I spent a fair amount of time thinking about the magazine’s focus. I knew if the foundation was strong enough, it would develop the momentum and strength to stand on it’s own. I combined my life long mission of empowering women with my love of literature and art. And as you know from “Support Your Local Independent Bookstore”, I’m a sucker for anything in print, so I knew the journal would have to be in print.

I shared the idea with three women whose talents and knowledge seemed to be just what a project like this needed. Each one of them loved the idea and wanted to be a part of it. Together we began to build Minerva Rising.

It’s amazing what it has grown into in just six short months. We have not only come up with our name, logo and mission, but we’ve also accepted sixteen pieces of literature and poetry from our first round of submissions. Our first issue will be in print the first week in September.

I share all of this, in part, to indirectly explain my somewhat sporadic posts the last few months. Most of my time has been spent on getting Minerva Rising up and running. As a way to get people excited about the project, we started a literary blog called The Keeping Room. It’s a casual forum where we share stories related to the current them of the journal. My Associate Editor, Dulcie Witman and I share writing responsibility for the blog. There’s a new post every Monday. Check it out. This week I write about painting and perfectionism.

Now that the secret is out, take a look at our website. Let me know what you think.

I’ll be sure to keep you in the loop going forward.

Quotes · The Writing Life

Winged Messengers

confidentwriter1 Comment

Yesterday, as my daughter drove to pick up her friend for carpool [she doesn’t get her license until later this month], I noticed a huge hawk sitting on the curb.

We slowed down to get a better look.  It was huge and totally indifferent to our car.  I contemplated circling back to take a picture with my I-phone, but to be honest I was afraid to get out of the car.  I went on with my morning.  I dropped the girls off at school and then went to the YMCA to work out (another personal challenge).  The bird never crossed my mind again.  But when I got home from my workout, there was another hawk on my lawn.  As I pulled in the driveway, it flew past the car and perched itself on my fencepost. I drove up closer to the fence and rolled down the window to take a picture.

 

 

The hawk was unmoved by the sound of my engine or the garage opening, which unnerved me. As a precaution I didn’t get out of the car until I was safely on the other side of the garage with the door closed.  I figured it wouldn’t bother me, but why take any chances.

I stood at my kitchen window and watched the hawk for the next half hour, wondering if there was some deeper meaning to its presence in my life.  I sensed it had a message for me.

The book, Animal Speaks, by Ted Andrews states:

This powerful bird can awaken visionary power and lead you to your life purpose. It is a messenger bird, and wherever it shows up, pay attention. There is a message coming.” It also says, “The red-tail can spread its wings to great width, and it can teach you to use your creative energies in the same way.

I’m not sure how much I buy into animals as messengers.  But even the Bible uses birds to teach us about God’s provision in our lives:

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they.

Matthew 6:26

 

The hawk exuded power. Perhaps it is a symbol of what our creativity can be if we allow God to work through us.  Noticing that big bird today reminded me of how much I miss, moving through life so focused on the task at hand.  As writers and artists, we can’t afford to overlook the world around us. It fuels us. We have to be watchful and alert. Not all of our messages will be as obvious as my hawks. And there is so much out there for us to learn from.

Quotes

Monday’s Motivating Word

confidentwriter2 Comments

Joy

I sometimes struggle with the concept of joy. Too often I confuse it with being happy.  But joy comes from the Lord, and it is available to us whenever we stop to pay attention. I feel it when I stand with my hands lifted high, singing praises to the Lord. I feel it in the crispness of the early morning air. I feel it in the laughter of my children. I feel it when I think about how truly blessed I am that the God of the universe wants a personal relationship with me.

For you, O LORD, have made me glad by your work; at the works of your hand I sing for joy.

Psalms 92:4

Quotes

Monday’s Motivating Word

confidentwriter3 Comments

GRATITUDE

It seems cliché to say be grateful on the Monday before Thanksgiving. But for some reason this word keeps coming to my mind. Perhaps it is because as I head into the holiday season my eyes are more open to those around me who are less fortunate. I see how much I take for granted. I want to begin this busy week of preparation acknowledging the many ways God has blessed me.

And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ

Ephesians 5:20 NLT

Books · Quotes

Reading and Ruminating – Krik?Krak!

confidentwriter2 Comments

Lately, I’ve had a lot of free time on my hands so I decided to volunteer at a local shelter for women. I thought it might be helpful if I taught a writing class, but the program didn’t really lend itself to that type of thing.  I went to the volunteer orientation nonetheless. There were several other women there asking questions that frankly bored me. I began to think I had made a mistake until the director explained the role of the volunteer as inviting the women to share their stories in a non-threatening relationship of mutual trust. It reminded me of the role of the writer. It’s our responsibility to be the voice of those who can’t speak for themselves and to share their difficult stories.

 

Edwidge Danticat does just that in her book Krik? Krak!.  She weaves several short stories into a larger commentary on the communal strength of the Haitian women. Though each woman’s story is capable of standing alone, the passage below, from “Epilogue: Women Like Us”, unifies the collection:

 

 

When you write, it’s like braiding your hair. Taking a handful of coarse unruly strands and attempting to bring them unity. Your fingers have still not perfected the task.

 

Each story is “a handful of coarse unruly strands”. Danticat works through the pain each woman’s suffered by exposing the cruelties and inhumanities of the experiences. Writing about these incidents is much like the yanking and pulling it takes to bring order to  “coarse unruly” strands of hair. When you begin to examine incredible loss and heartache your emotions become “coarse” and “unruly”. You have no control over where they will take you or the depths in which it will affect your own soul.

The phrase, “Your fingers have still not perfected the task”, speaks to the fact that no matter how many times you have braided your hair, you still have to go through the process of combing through the tangles and braiding each individual braid. There is no shortcut or fast track. It takes time and it is painful. As Danticat combs through the horror of boat full of Haitians sinking off the coast of the Bahamas or the desperation of a father committing suicide because he can’t provide for his family, the reader is able to see a more complete picture of brutality inflicted on the Haitian people. And in many ways the atrocities are things that are familiar to the Haitian people because they happen over and over again. However, it’s impossible to get used to it or to “perfect the task” of making sense of tragedy.

The simile of writing like braiding also blends in the cultural aspect of Danticat’s story. Braided hair is a sign of beauty and order for the Haitian woman. If a woman is able to tame her hair and bring order to chaos she is revered as beautiful. By combing through the experience in writing, Danticat is able to reveal the beauty of the woman.

_________________________________________________________________

Dandicat, Edwidge. Krik? Krak! Vintage: New York, 1996. Print.

Related articles