Category: The Writing Life

The Writing Life

Memories

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This week, I’ve been thinking a lot about the past. It tends to happen when a loved one dies. Conversations and experiences resurfaced in such vivid details that the writer in me wanted to sit down and mine those memories for material for my writing. But I couldn’t. There were too many other things going on around me and in me.

I played solitaire on my computer, instead.

Yesterday, I gathered with my family to support my aunt and cousin, reconnecting with relatives I hadn’t seen in years. With each interaction pieces of the past emerged. I wondered why I didn’t have such rich recollections when I’m sitting at my desk writing. I wanted to jot down notes so that I would remember all the images and stories that were floating through my mind. But then I’d glance toward my cousin’s coffin and suddenly couldn’t remember what was so important. Grief took over.

I wasn’t in control. My emotions were raw. Images, reminiscences and thoughts came up without a filter.  And it occurs to me that in there is a valuable writing lesson.

When we let go of control, we have access to so much rich material within us.

The Writing Life

Writing on the go

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I’m on my way to New York to watch my daughter’s chorus perform at Carnegie Hall. So I’m writing this post from 38,000 feet. I figured it would be a good use of my flight time. I usually write in my office with all my writerly things around me. It puts me in the mood. However, I haven’t been able to spend much time in my office because of my travel schedule. It creates a writing dilemma.

My first inclination is not to write. That’s what I did in February and most of March. But then I’d have to deal with the loathing thing writers do to themselves when they don’t write. So the question becomes how do you get the work done on the go?

Here are three suggestions to keep writing when you’re away from your regular routine.

1. Go low tech. Take along a notebook and a pen. Last week, I took a fresh notebook to the beach. I spent every morning sittting on my balcony writing. The new scenario inspired me. Writing in the notebook freed up my need to control the writing. I started a new piece that surprised me.

2. Use your smart phone. For some this is a no-brainer. For others writing on those little devices is less than appealing. However, there are some great journaling apps. I like NoteMaster and MyJournal. Write down quick ideas or write when the opportunity presents itself. It isn’t ideal, but it’s better than losing your flow.

3. Revise. Print pages of your work to take with you. Being away from the computer gives you time to think. Record your thoughts on the page so that when you return to your office you’ll be further along in the process.

I’m not suggesting this will be your best work, but it keeps you writing.

Motivating Word · The Writing Life

Monday’s Motivating Word

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MOMENTUM

Last night, my son asked why I stopped writing my blog. The question surprised me. I didn’t realize he read it regularly enough to know I hadn’t written anything in a few weeks. I have had this mental block since February when I went on an unexpected birthday trip to Charleston. I didn’t write my normal Monday post because I wanted to enjoy my vacation. Then the next week I had a trip to Chicago for AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Programs). I was too focused on networking with other writers to do any writing. And once I got back from Chicago, I headed off to Napa Valley with my husband. Who can write when there is wine to be tasted?

Through the course of all that traveling, I lost the energy needed to write the series on women writers. I no longer had the internal drive to get the work done. To be honest, I just didn’t care any more. It felt too much like a chore.  Then I received another rejection letter, and I wondered if it was even worth it to spend time writing at all. Thank God I have a friend from my writing group who won’t leave me alone. If it weren’t for her, I probably wouldn’t have written anything at all last month. I completely lost my momentum. I could spend the rest of this post speculating on why, but I doubt that would be very motivating.

Writing is kind of like exercising. When you’re in the flow, you don’t have to force yourself to go to the gym. You just go. There is something in your body pushing you forward, driving your behavior. You want to workout. Your body craves it. The movement feels good. You can’t imagine why you would ever stop. But then something happens. You miss a day because you’re tired, and then the next thing you know it has been two months since the last time you worked out. You have to build your momentum again. You have to push yourself in order to get back into the flow.

Well, that’s what this post is all about. I’m putting myself in motion. I’m rebuilding my writing momentum. It’s not easy. But the development of a process creates energy to drive our behavior. So today I worked out for an hour and now I’m at my desk, writing.

Where do you need to build momentum? What do you need to make happen?

The Writing Life

Ode to Natalie Goldberg

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Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within is the one book – other than the Bible – that has had the greatest influence on my life. Prior to reading it, my writing was sporadic at best. Ideas would float in and out of my mind, but I wasn’t committed to a regular schedule. I wrote when the mood hit me or when I had time, which wasn’t often with three young children. Though I always had the desire to write, I couldn’t figure out how to make it fit into my life. I shared this with a co-worker and she recommended Goldberg’s book.

Each short chapter suggested practical ways to approach writing, giving the reader a variety of techniques and methods to work with. My favorite technique is timed writing exercises, which Goldberg calls a “basic unit of writing practice.” She suggests that you time yourself for a specific amount – say ten minutes, twenty minutes or even an hour – to write.  The specific amount of time doesn’t matter only that you commit yourself to the full period. Goldberg pairs the timed writing exercise with the idea of free writing. She list five rules:

  1. Keep your hand moving. (Don’t pause to reread the line you have just written. That’s stalling and trying to get control of what you’re saying.)
  2. Don’t cross out. (That is editing as you write. Even if you don’t mean to write, leave it.)
  3. Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, and grammar. (Don’t even care about staying within the margins and lines on the page.)
  4. Lose control.
  5. Don’t think. Don’t get logical.
  6. Go for the jugular. (If something comes up in your writing that is scary or naked, dive right into it. It probably has lots of energy.)

 Writing Down the Bones 

[Years later, I learned Goldberg was referring to theories of the writing process developed by Peter Elbow. Though I used Elbow’s books Writing Without Teachers and Writing With Power in my composition classes, I always thought Goldberg’s book made those theories accessible.]

Goldberg relates free writing to what she calls “first thoughts” and explains their importance this way:

These are the rules. It is important to adhere to them because the aim is to burn through to first thoughts, to the place where energy is unobstructed by social politeness or the internal censor, to the place where you are writing what your mind actually sees and feels, not what it thinks it should see or feel.

This idea was revolutionary to me. It allowed me to just write without worrying if it sounded ‘right’ or was grammatically correct. It gave me permission to freely connect with my thoughts and ideas.  I began to develop as a writer.  I regularly scheduled fifteen-minute blocks three times a week to write in my notebook. Those few minutes became a refuge from my busy life as a working mother. There would be days when I would pull into the parking lot at a park to write before picking up my kids from day care. Learning how to access my first thoughts helped me to begin to trust my own thinking. I filled notebook after notebook with free writing. The free writing began to turn into stories. After three years of regular writing practice, I found myself enrolled in a master’s level Written Communications program.

Writing Down the Bones taught me that I have something important to say. It helped me to believe in myself as a writer. The very first article I ever had published was developed from a free write I wrote shortly after I started reading Goldberg’s book. As a result, I firmly trust the process of free writing and first thoughts. So much so that twenty- four years later I still begin my writing time with a timed free write. The act of writing uninhibited by censorship and editing has led to countless discoveries and answered many questions. However, Goldberg’s greatest influence on me is how I think about writing. I firmly believe that we become good writers when we trust the writer within. That small voice inside holds the key to creativity and truth.

I have preached the concepts in this book so much over the years that I can’t tell you how many times I have recommended it or given away my own copy. I should probably see if there is a way for me to get a commission from the publisher.

If you haven’t read Writing Down Bones, go get a copy today.

Images · The Writing Life

More Writing Tips from Obedience Training

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Maizy and I have faithfully been attending obedience training every Friday morning for the last two weeks.  The morning starts off with socialization and playtime. The dogs and owners gather in this beautiful fenced yard. The idea is to give the dogs an opportunity to burn off energy before they go into the structure of class time. It also teaches them how to interact with other dogs.

I was really nervous about Maizy interacting with other dogs. She doesn’t exactly play well others. My son took her to Pet Smart and she bit another dog on the nose. The training and behavior manager, Mailey McLaughlin, explained that the dogs needed to learn to interact with one another.  Apparently, some dogs need to be growled at in order to learn to respect other dogs. And if they got too rowdy in the play yard, Mailey sprays them with her super-soaker to break up the negative interaction –which works really well, by the way.

The first week Maizy was apprehensive and didn’t stray too far away from my son or me. But she didn’t bite any of the other dogs, so I was really happy.

The second week she was a bit more adventurous. She briefly mingled with the other dogs, but never fully engaged. She seemed to prefer to explore the yard alone. A few times I noticed her watching the other dogs from a distances. Like a first time mother, I wanted to encourage her to go play with the other dogs, thinking she would have so much more fun if she would go and play. But then it occurred to me that Maizy reminded me of myself whenever I participate in a writers’ group.

No matter how excited I am about getting together with other writers, I feel some apprehensive about sharing my writing. I know there are places in it where I have held back or haven’t really fully engaged. And in some ways I’m a lot like Maizy – ready to bite someone’s head off if they get too close. I get frustrated when the group challenges my work. By challenge I mean question the development of the story or express confusion in a scene. Their comments seem to confirm the fear that if I knew what I was doing, I would get it right the first time. And then when I read their work, I get discouraged because they seem to get it – whatever it is. I feel as if I am in over my head.  I vacillate between thinking the group doesn’t know what they are talking about and questioning whether or not I should write at all. Sounds schizophrenic, doesn’t it.

But as I watched the dogs socialize and play, it occurred to me that even if Maizy doesn’t engage in the play she is still learning from the other dogs. She will keep her distance until she feels safe enough to engage. And I’m guessing by the end of the six weeks she’ll be more comfortable with the other dogs.

Perhaps the writing lesson is that writers need writer’s groups and workshops for the same reasons the dogs need playtime and socialization – to burn off stream (pent up anxiety or stress) and to learn to interact with other writers (and readers).  We need to get out of our heads. See what other people are working on. Give our ideas an opportunity to run around and be heard.

 

The resistance we have to being critiqued lies in the fact that we look at feedback as criticism rather than an exercise to engage our thinking. The conversations we have in our groups create synergy so that even when you discuss someone else’s work, you gain insight into your own work. I’ve been a part of a writers’ group for several years. Our monthly meetings keep me writing. Their feedback – positive and negative – has played an integral part in my growth as a writer.  But I know I don’t get as much out of the group as I could if I fully engaged in my writing.

 

Maizy and I go back to class later today. I can’t wait to see what she does during socialization and playtime.  I don’t meet with my writing group again until the end of the month, but my plan is to write with abandon so that the next time we meet I’m fully engaged in the process.

Motivating Word · The Writing Life

Monday’s Motivating Word

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PLANNING

Blogging has really challenged my writing life. Two to three times a week I have to figure out what to write. Sometimes a topic is so strong on my heart that I feel compelled to write. But then there are those days when I struggle to find an idea.

That’s where planning comes in. You know the saying, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” Of course, the issue is time. And if you’re anything like me, you’d rather just jump into you’re task. However, planning gives you a road map of sorts. If you know you’re going to work on something later in the week, planning gives your ideas time to geminate. You don’t have to be bound by it. It’s a place to start.

Take a minute today to plan out your writing week.

The Writing Life

Writing Lessons Learned at Obedience Training

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My new puppy, Maizy (as in Maize and Blue), is as cute as a button, but doesn’t listen. She’d be darn right ‘bad’ if it weren’t for the fact that she has learned a few things from our older dog.  So I signed her up for obedience training.

The first class of training was only for humans. An orientation they called it. I was more than a little disappointed.  I wanted to get her straight. Well, turns out she wasn’t the one who needed to be straightened out. The training and behavior manager at Atlanta Humane Society, Mailey McLaughlin, M.Ed, blew me a way with her humor and matter-of-fact way of explaining dog behavior. I learned a lot.

And surprisingly, the three objectives of obedience training are fundamental to the writing life.

  1. Build a relationship – Obedience training is the key to establishing a bond between you and your dog. You have to spend consistent time daily with your dog teaching her what you want. So it is with writing. When you write daily, you grow in your craft. It’s easier to face a blank screen. You begin to establish a bond with your muse and it learns that it can trust you to be there.  And once you have a strong relationship with your muse, the words flow.
  2. Reduce/remove confusion – Most of the behavior problems we experience with dogs happen because the dogs are confused about what is expected of them.  As their trainers we have to reduce or remove the confusion. We do this by knowing how to communicate with them. We also have to make sure that we are sending the correct message. This is key in writing. Writers need to know their audience, especially when you submit your work. We have to carefully manage our words and tone so that what we write says what we want it to say. It’s our job to remove any confusion so that our readers get the intended message.
  3. Have fun – Obedience training has to be fun for dogs so they are eager to learn. And as writers if we make writing fun, it will be a whole lot easier to do. Sometimes we write stuff that isn’t fun, but we can still enjoy the process. Bask in a well-placed word or a great sentence.  Take pleasure in those moments you pull away for the real world to play in the one you created on the screen.  Entertain yourself with your own cleverness.

Next week Maizy comes with me. We’ll learn sit, stay – also great training for writers.

Quotes · The Writing Life

Winged Messengers

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Yesterday, as my daughter drove to pick up her friend for carpool [she doesn’t get her license until later this month], I noticed a huge hawk sitting on the curb.

We slowed down to get a better look.  It was huge and totally indifferent to our car.  I contemplated circling back to take a picture with my I-phone, but to be honest I was afraid to get out of the car.  I went on with my morning.  I dropped the girls off at school and then went to the YMCA to work out (another personal challenge).  The bird never crossed my mind again.  But when I got home from my workout, there was another hawk on my lawn.  As I pulled in the driveway, it flew past the car and perched itself on my fencepost. I drove up closer to the fence and rolled down the window to take a picture.

 

 

The hawk was unmoved by the sound of my engine or the garage opening, which unnerved me. As a precaution I didn’t get out of the car until I was safely on the other side of the garage with the door closed.  I figured it wouldn’t bother me, but why take any chances.

I stood at my kitchen window and watched the hawk for the next half hour, wondering if there was some deeper meaning to its presence in my life.  I sensed it had a message for me.

The book, Animal Speaks, by Ted Andrews states:

This powerful bird can awaken visionary power and lead you to your life purpose. It is a messenger bird, and wherever it shows up, pay attention. There is a message coming.” It also says, “The red-tail can spread its wings to great width, and it can teach you to use your creative energies in the same way.

I’m not sure how much I buy into animals as messengers.  But even the Bible uses birds to teach us about God’s provision in our lives:

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they.

Matthew 6:26

 

The hawk exuded power. Perhaps it is a symbol of what our creativity can be if we allow God to work through us.  Noticing that big bird today reminded me of how much I miss, moving through life so focused on the task at hand.  As writers and artists, we can’t afford to overlook the world around us. It fuels us. We have to be watchful and alert. Not all of our messages will be as obvious as my hawks. And there is so much out there for us to learn from.

Motivating Word · The Writing Life

Motivating Word

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CHALLENGE

To engage in a contest, fight or competition

 To summon to action or effort; stimulate

It’s been hard to get back into the swing of things. That’s why you’re getting Monday’s Motivating word so much later than usual. December sucked the life out of me. I had high hopes for the New Year, but as of today I’ve already flubbed three of my New Year goals. Part of me (though admittedly a tiny part) believes that New Year aspirations are possible, but it takes resolve, commitment, and action. And nothing stimulates action like a healthy challenge.  Kind of like when you’re in your car and someone tries to cut you off. Something takes over and the next thing you know you’re pressing your foot down on the accelerator. You want victory over that other car.  Or is that just me?

Well, anyway – the point is we need a challenge to summon that same I-gotta-win drive.  For example White Peach Blog posted a 30 Day Photography Challenge to take a new photograph for thirty days.  Simple enough, right?  If you accept the challenge, you engage in the process because you want to be able to say you won.

Challenges move you toward your goal.  And if you make it public, you’ll feel more accountable. So here are two of my personal writing challenges.

  1. Post three times a week to my blog for the next thirty days. Yikes! I’m putting it out there, so hold me accountable.
  2. Write for an hour a day for the next thirty days.

It would be cool if other bloggers and writers joined me.  We could share our progress and our struggle. Or maybe you have an idea for a challenge? Post it here.

By the way, I’m also doing the 30 Day Photography Challenge for fun.  Here is the first day picture:

The Writing Life

Five Things Not-to-Do in 2012

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Imagine if God created you to be the Michelangelo of this age, but you stayed so busy doing all kinds of things — good things — that you never got around to painting and sculpting.

You’d end up missing God’s plan and design for your life because you got distracted chasing lesser things.

What a disappointment it would be for God, you, and all the people who would have been blessed if you’d stayed focused on your original purpose!

Today, make a list of things not-to-do in 2012. Fill your list with things you do that don’t match God’s purpose for your life or things you think you have to do but haven’t been told to do by God.

Ask God to clarify the things he wants you to do this year, and then ruthlessly move everything else onto your list of things not-to-do. Then, press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called you (Philippians 3:14).

Jon Walker – Daily Hope with Rick Warren, “Make a Not-to-Do List for 2012,”  12.26.11

All week long I’ve been thinking about this devotional. What if I am supposed to do something big and I’m too busy cleaning my kitchen or catching up with friends on Facebook? Though I don’t equate my writing to Michelangelo’s painting or sculpture, I know as an artist I need discipline and focus. It is so easy to get caught up in other things that have an immediate pay-off.  But is that God’s plan and design for my life. I don’t think so. Writing calls to me from someplace deep in my soul.  So in an effort to focus my mind toward my writing goals, I developed a Not-to-Do List for 2012.

In 2012 I Will Not. . . 

1. Give up.

Between Christmas Eve and New Years Eve I received three letters rejecting my work. It put a dapper on the holidays for me. I contemplated ditching writing for the New Year. But then I read a post on Helensadornment blog about the three years it took her to establish her jewelry business. It helped me realize that it takes time and commitment. I have to keep my eye on the goal and not give up.

2. Doubt the call to write or myself.

I spend too much time wondering if I am a good writer or if I’m really suppose to be writing. Sometimes those thoughts can take me down such a rabbit hole that takes me days to get out of. Then I struggle to get back into the groove of writing again. I have to stop doubting myself and just write. If it isn’t for me, the door will close without me obsessing over whether or not I’m doing the right thing.

3. Judge myself by others.

Whenever someone I know gets published, I judge my writing against his or her work. It leads me right into doubting my writing and myself. But I am never going to be able to write like someone else. I have my own style. My time would be better spent developing myself as writer and making each piece I write the very best it can be.

4. Squander my writing time with Facebook, Twitter or email.

Often times when I sit down to write, I waste time catching up on Facebook or Twitter. I can spend 45 minutes scrolling through updates before I turn my attention to the work at hand. By then my energy has run down. I’m sick of sitting in the chair at the computer. So this year writing time is writing time. I can catch up on social media after my work is done.

5. Take short cuts in my writing.

Often times I bypass the hard stuff, because it makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to deal with the emotions, so I rush through the work. But good writing comes from allowing yourself to get lost the wilderness. You write your way through it and come out the other side.  You can’t dapple in that type of writing. It requires your all.

This year I will focus on God’s plan and design for my life rather than things that distract me from my goals.

What’s on your Not-to-Do list?