The Writing Life

Writing Lessons Learned at Obedience Training

My new puppy, Maizy (as in Maize and Blue), is as cute as a button, but doesn’t listen. She’d be darn right ‘bad’ if it weren’t for the fact that she has learned a few things from our older dog.  So I signed her up for obedience training.

The first class of training was only for humans. An orientation they called it. I was more than a little disappointed.  I wanted to get her straight. Well, turns out she wasn’t the one who needed to be straightened out. The training and behavior manager at Atlanta Humane Society, Mailey McLaughlin, M.Ed, blew me a way with her humor and matter-of-fact way of explaining dog behavior. I learned a lot.

And surprisingly, the three objectives of obedience training are fundamental to the writing life.

  1. Build a relationship – Obedience training is the key to establishing a bond between you and your dog. You have to spend consistent time daily with your dog teaching her what you want. So it is with writing. When you write daily, you grow in your craft. It’s easier to face a blank screen. You begin to establish a bond with your muse and it learns that it can trust you to be there.  And once you have a strong relationship with your muse, the words flow.
  2. Reduce/remove confusion – Most of the behavior problems we experience with dogs happen because the dogs are confused about what is expected of them.  As their trainers we have to reduce or remove the confusion. We do this by knowing how to communicate with them. We also have to make sure that we are sending the correct message. This is key in writing. Writers need to know their audience, especially when you submit your work. We have to carefully manage our words and tone so that what we write says what we want it to say. It’s our job to remove any confusion so that our readers get the intended message.
  3. Have fun – Obedience training has to be fun for dogs so they are eager to learn. And as writers if we make writing fun, it will be a whole lot easier to do. Sometimes we write stuff that isn’t fun, but we can still enjoy the process. Bask in a well-placed word or a great sentence.  Take pleasure in those moments you pull away for the real world to play in the one you created on the screen.  Entertain yourself with your own cleverness.

Next week Maizy comes with me. We’ll learn sit, stay – also great training for writers.

Quotes · The Writing Life

Winged Messengers

Yesterday, as my daughter drove to pick up her friend for carpool [she doesn’t get her license until later this month], I noticed a huge hawk sitting on the curb.

We slowed down to get a better look.  It was huge and totally indifferent to our car.  I contemplated circling back to take a picture with my I-phone, but to be honest I was afraid to get out of the car.  I went on with my morning.  I dropped the girls off at school and then went to the YMCA to work out (another personal challenge).  The bird never crossed my mind again.  But when I got home from my workout, there was another hawk on my lawn.  As I pulled in the driveway, it flew past the car and perched itself on my fencepost. I drove up closer to the fence and rolled down the window to take a picture.

 

 

The hawk was unmoved by the sound of my engine or the garage opening, which unnerved me. As a precaution I didn’t get out of the car until I was safely on the other side of the garage with the door closed.  I figured it wouldn’t bother me, but why take any chances.

I stood at my kitchen window and watched the hawk for the next half hour, wondering if there was some deeper meaning to its presence in my life.  I sensed it had a message for me.

The book, Animal Speaks, by Ted Andrews states:

This powerful bird can awaken visionary power and lead you to your life purpose. It is a messenger bird, and wherever it shows up, pay attention. There is a message coming.” It also says, “The red-tail can spread its wings to great width, and it can teach you to use your creative energies in the same way.

I’m not sure how much I buy into animals as messengers.  But even the Bible uses birds to teach us about God’s provision in our lives:

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they.

Matthew 6:26

 

The hawk exuded power. Perhaps it is a symbol of what our creativity can be if we allow God to work through us.  Noticing that big bird today reminded me of how much I miss, moving through life so focused on the task at hand.  As writers and artists, we can’t afford to overlook the world around us. It fuels us. We have to be watchful and alert. Not all of our messages will be as obvious as my hawks. And there is so much out there for us to learn from.

Motivating Word · The Writing Life

Motivating Word

CHALLENGE

To engage in a contest, fight or competition

 To summon to action or effort; stimulate

It’s been hard to get back into the swing of things. That’s why you’re getting Monday’s Motivating word so much later than usual. December sucked the life out of me. I had high hopes for the New Year, but as of today I’ve already flubbed three of my New Year goals. Part of me (though admittedly a tiny part) believes that New Year aspirations are possible, but it takes resolve, commitment, and action. And nothing stimulates action like a healthy challenge.  Kind of like when you’re in your car and someone tries to cut you off. Something takes over and the next thing you know you’re pressing your foot down on the accelerator. You want victory over that other car.  Or is that just me?

Well, anyway – the point is we need a challenge to summon that same I-gotta-win drive.  For example White Peach Blog posted a 30 Day Photography Challenge to take a new photograph for thirty days.  Simple enough, right?  If you accept the challenge, you engage in the process because you want to be able to say you won.

Challenges move you toward your goal.  And if you make it public, you’ll feel more accountable. So here are two of my personal writing challenges.

  1. Post three times a week to my blog for the next thirty days. Yikes! I’m putting it out there, so hold me accountable.
  2. Write for an hour a day for the next thirty days.

It would be cool if other bloggers and writers joined me.  We could share our progress and our struggle. Or maybe you have an idea for a challenge? Post it here.

By the way, I’m also doing the 30 Day Photography Challenge for fun.  Here is the first day picture:

The Writing Life

Five Things Not-to-Do in 2012

Imagine if God created you to be the Michelangelo of this age, but you stayed so busy doing all kinds of things — good things — that you never got around to painting and sculpting.

You’d end up missing God’s plan and design for your life because you got distracted chasing lesser things.

What a disappointment it would be for God, you, and all the people who would have been blessed if you’d stayed focused on your original purpose!

Today, make a list of things not-to-do in 2012. Fill your list with things you do that don’t match God’s purpose for your life or things you think you have to do but haven’t been told to do by God.

Ask God to clarify the things he wants you to do this year, and then ruthlessly move everything else onto your list of things not-to-do. Then, press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called you (Philippians 3:14).

Jon Walker – Daily Hope with Rick Warren, “Make a Not-to-Do List for 2012,”  12.26.11

All week long I’ve been thinking about this devotional. What if I am supposed to do something big and I’m too busy cleaning my kitchen or catching up with friends on Facebook? Though I don’t equate my writing to Michelangelo’s painting or sculpture, I know as an artist I need discipline and focus. It is so easy to get caught up in other things that have an immediate pay-off.  But is that God’s plan and design for my life. I don’t think so. Writing calls to me from someplace deep in my soul.  So in an effort to focus my mind toward my writing goals, I developed a Not-to-Do List for 2012.

In 2012 I Will Not. . . 

1. Give up.

Between Christmas Eve and New Years Eve I received three letters rejecting my work. It put a dapper on the holidays for me. I contemplated ditching writing for the New Year. But then I read a post on Helensadornment blog about the three years it took her to establish her jewelry business. It helped me realize that it takes time and commitment. I have to keep my eye on the goal and not give up.

2. Doubt the call to write or myself.

I spend too much time wondering if I am a good writer or if I’m really suppose to be writing. Sometimes those thoughts can take me down such a rabbit hole that takes me days to get out of. Then I struggle to get back into the groove of writing again. I have to stop doubting myself and just write. If it isn’t for me, the door will close without me obsessing over whether or not I’m doing the right thing.

3. Judge myself by others.

Whenever someone I know gets published, I judge my writing against his or her work. It leads me right into doubting my writing and myself. But I am never going to be able to write like someone else. I have my own style. My time would be better spent developing myself as writer and making each piece I write the very best it can be.

4. Squander my writing time with Facebook, Twitter or email.

Often times when I sit down to write, I waste time catching up on Facebook or Twitter. I can spend 45 minutes scrolling through updates before I turn my attention to the work at hand. By then my energy has run down. I’m sick of sitting in the chair at the computer. So this year writing time is writing time. I can catch up on social media after my work is done.

5. Take short cuts in my writing.

Often times I bypass the hard stuff, because it makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to deal with the emotions, so I rush through the work. But good writing comes from allowing yourself to get lost the wilderness. You write your way through it and come out the other side.  You can’t dapple in that type of writing. It requires your all.

This year I will focus on God’s plan and design for my life rather than things that distract me from my goals.

What’s on your Not-to-Do list?

Home

Not The Same Ole Christmas Letter

Every year around this time I start to feel a little edgy. The continuous Christmas music and the retail push to get the perfect gift begin to grate on my nerves. And there is a low laying fear that I won’t get all the gifts bought, the cookies baked, the family Christmas letter written and the cards sent. There just isn’t enough time.

I end up having to chisel away at my expectations. This works pretty well until I run into one of those friends who hands you a tin of assorted cookies as she tells you about how she finished her Christmas shopping months ago. I start to feel as if I need to reassess. I try to figure out how to get it all done in the five days I have left.

 

But it doesn’t take long for reality to kick in. I end up conceding that I like eating Christmas cookies more than baking them. But it’s a bit harder to give up the Christmas letter and card. I’m a writer. I should be able to write 500 words about my family. But as soon as I sit down to write, I experience serious writer’s block. I have no idea what I want to say or how to say it. I don’t want to run through a list of accomplishment and family vacations like every other Christmas letter. It’s boring to read. Not to mention the fact that it doesn’t tell you anything or foster a real connectedness.

Perhaps that is the nature of the genre. Paint a pleasant picture of your family life in order to spread Christmas cheer. But I think that completely misses the point.

We have Christmas because our lives were far from perfect. God sent His only son to live among us and to experience everything that we experience so that he could rescue us from our sins:

 

Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Hebrews 2:17-18 (ESV)

 Christ didn’t ignore the trials and tribulations of human life. Neither should we. Sharing our challenges as well as our triumphs is the perfect way to celebrate the birth of our Savior. Because without Him the ways we fall short would define us far more than our accomplishments.

But as I write this I feel some personal resistance. I don’t want to be that one person who airs all the dirty laundry in the Christmas letter. I’d rather say nothing. But it empowers me when other writers write about their lives honestly. I don’t feel as alone in my own struggles. And at Christmas time there are a lot of people who need encouragement.

So this year I’ve decided to give the family Christmas letter another go, but it won’t be the same ole letter. This time I’ll write about the how hard it has been to re-establish myself after relocating and how much I miss my friends and church back in Naperville. I’ll also share the triumph of completing my thesis and receiving a Master in Fine Arts. I’ll touch on the ebb and flow marriage as well as trials and triumphs of mothering young adults. But the most important thing I will write about is how grateful I am this Christmas season for the gift of Jesus Christ. I would have never made it through this year without Him.

 

 

This blog was part of a Holiday Blog Tour. The next stop tomorrow is with Gwen Jerris. Thanks Icess Fernandez of Writing to Insanity for organizing the tour and for asking me to be a part of it!

 

Home · The Writing Life

10 Gift Ideas for Writers

My favorite part of December magazines is the gift guides. I grabbed a copy of Real Simple and Oprah Magazine hoping to find the perfect gift for the people on my list. I didn’t see anything in either or them that I wanted to have or to give. The stuff was too showy or just plain weird. No anyone on my list who would enjoy a package of chocolate sardines in a reusable tin.

So as a courtesy to those of you who are looking for a gift for yourself or the writer in your life, I’ve come up with 10 Gifts for Writers.

  1. Freedom Productivity Application – It locks down the Internet while you write. I first read about it in Poets and Writers Magazine. I’m definitely giving this one to myself. It turns out several famous authors use it. Nora Ephron even mentioned it in an article about her in The New York Times. It’s only $10.
  2. A Writer’s Conference/Workshop – There is nothing like being surrounded with a bunch of writers to get your creative juices flowing. I’m going to AWP (Association of Writers& Writing Program) Chicago Conference. They have a variety of workshops and readings. But the best part is the huge book fair. Even if you can’t fit Chicago into you plans, there are tons of local conferences and workshops. Both AWP and Poets and Writers Magazine have list on their websites.
  3. A Starbucks Gift Card – Writers and coffee. Need I say more?
  4. Champagne – In preparation of that acceptance e-mail or letter. Imagine how gratifying it will be to have it already chilling when you get the news. Try Laurent-Perrier Rose. It’s wonderful.
  5. Tickets to a local exhibit or show – A wonderful way to feed the inner artist.
  6. Hand cream – My hands get dry when I’m in the flow of writing. I love True Blue SpaSuper-softening Hand Lotion –Look Ma New Hands by Bath and Body Works. 
  7. A Tote bag or Messenger bag – Big bags come in handy when you’re writing on the go.  Kipling has great durable bags for under $100.
  8. Massage – Relieves tension in the back, forearms and wrist. It also relaxes the mind. Your Muse need pampering too.
  9.  A Subscription to a Literary Journal – One Story is a great literary journal that focuses on one story a month. It fits easily into a purse for a quick read. 
  10. Journal and pens – Writers never have too many journals or pens.

What gifts would you add to the list?

Quotes

Monday’s Motivating Word

Joy

I sometimes struggle with the concept of joy. Too often I confuse it with being happy.  But joy comes from the Lord, and it is available to us whenever we stop to pay attention. I feel it when I stand with my hands lifted high, singing praises to the Lord. I feel it in the crispness of the early morning air. I feel it in the laughter of my children. I feel it when I think about how truly blessed I am that the God of the universe wants a personal relationship with me.

For you, O LORD, have made me glad by your work; at the works of your hand I sing for joy.

Psalms 92:4

Books · Home

The Quiet Desperation of Suburban Living

I was tempted to jump on the holiday bandwagon and make this blog about Christmas, but I just finished Freedom by Jonathan Franzen and had to write about it. I probably would not have read the novel if a friend from my writing group hadn’t recommended. She thought it might be useful to my writing, because my short stories had similar themes. I wasn’t familiar with Franzen’s writing because I had a bias against him. Back when I was a Oprah fan, he refused to appear on her show when his earlier novel, The Corrections, was selected for Oprah’s Book Club. I thought he was a pompous asshole and sort of vowed not to read anything by him.  Boy was that a wrong call.

The casual way Franzen began the story drew me in immediately:

The news about Walter Berglund wasn’t picked up locally – he and Patty had moved away to Washington two years earlier and meant nothing to St. Paul now – but the urban gentry of Ramsey Hill were not so loyal to their city as not to read the New York Times.

That simple sentence told me a lot about the setting and the characters – an excellent example of showing rather than telling, by the way.  The other morning, while I was outside with my dogs,  a man driving a grey sedan flung a New York Times on my driveway before proceeding down the street to deliver more papers to my neighbors.

I understood the people Franzen was writing about. Walter and Patty Berglund could have easily been one of my neighbors. But what really won me over is the way Franzen captured the quiet desperation of the suburban middle class:

Where did the self-pity come from? The inordinate volume of it? By almost any standard, she led a luxurious life. She had all day every day to figure out some decent and satisfying way to live, and yet all she ever seemed to get for all her choices and all her freedom was more miserable. The autobiographer is almost forced to the conclusion that she pitied herself for being so free.

Freedom exposes the alcoholism, adultery and marital discord hidden behind the facade of suburban living. And though I haven’t experienced all of the things Franzen writes about, I’ve had enough issues in my marriage and with my children to understand Patty and Walter Berglund.  Their story reminded me of the people in my old neighborhood in suburban Chicago. The homes were so beautiful and well maintained, but on the inside people suffered in silence because no one wanted their neighbors to know what was really going on inside of their homes. I remember being devastated when I heard about a neighbor who took her life. Her adult son had been killed in a car accident. I remembered seeing her son’s car in the driveway. I never thought twice about it when I didn’t see it anymore. The friend who told me the story said the woman moved after his death, and then took her life. I can’t help but wonder what may have happened if her neighbors had known about her son and gathered around to support her. I know this is an extreme example, but the recycling bins full of beer and wine bottles sitting on the curb Wednesday mornings suggest that there is too much left unsaid.

The reviews on Goodreads are fairly split on Freedom. You either love it or hate it. I stand with those who loved it. Reading about people with similar social and economic background gives me insight into my own life. It also confirmed an inclination I’ve had recently to write stories about men and women much like myself who suffer in silence from loneliness and depression. I felt encouraged by Franzen’s honesty. I hope as a writer that I am able to be as honest in my writing.

If you’ve read Freedom, what’s your take on the novel and Jonathan Franzen?

I recently read Franzen’s 10 rules for Writing Fiction on 101 books.  The list originally came from The Guardian.

1 The reader is a friend, not an adversary, not a spectator.

2 Fiction that isn’t an author’s personal adventure into the frightening or the unknown isn’t worth writing for anything but money.

3 Never use the word “then” as a ­conjunction – we have “and” for this purpose. Substituting “then” is the lazy or tone-deaf writer’s non-solution to the problem of too many “ands” on the page.

4 Write in the third person unless a ­really distinctive first-person voice ­offers itself irresistibly.

5 When information becomes free and universally accessible, voluminous research for a novel is devalued along with it.

6 The most purely autobiographical ­fiction requires pure invention. Nobody ever wrote a more auto­biographical story than “The Meta­morphosis”.

7 You see more sitting still than chasing after.

8 It’s doubtful that anyone with an internet connection at his workplace is writing good fiction.

Interesting verbs are seldom very interesting.

10 You have to love before you can be relentless.

I love number two and seven.  Number eight offended me. Turns out checking Facebook and email does inhibit my creativity and limit my productivity.  Go figure.

In spite of our bumpy beginning, Franzen may just become a new favorite. I’m off to purchase The Corrections.

Uncategorized

Monday’s Motivating Word

Believe . . .

As a child, I believed in Santa Claus much longer than I care to admit. There was nothing like the twinkling of Christmas lights on the netted hair of a brand new baby doll. I believed in the magic. I believed in possibilities.

As an adult, I easily become disenchanted with the season as I run around trying to make everything perfect. I get frustrated that my energy and time rarely match my ambition. I come very close to being one of those people who can’t wait for the season to be over.  But then I hear the words to O Holy Night:

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,

It is the night of the dear Saviour’s birth.

Long lay the world in sin and error pining.

Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!

O night divine, the night when Christ was born

Everything changes. I connect to the real magic of Christmas. Our God loves us so much that He sent His only son to save us from our own sin. It makes me believe.

Today take a moment to enjoy the magic of this season. Believe in possibilities, in miracles, in love.