Why Am I Procrastinating?

February 20, 2017 confidentwriter1 Comment

It’s been four weeks since I posted a blog.

I could go into a long explanation about how busy I’ve been. As executive editor of Minerva Rising Press, I had to prepare for the 2017 AWP Conference, finalize the latest Minerva Rising issue – Fathers, and manage day-to-day operations. All necessary activities, but none require day and night involvement. In addition, my husband and I started a foundation to honor Matt’s life which needs oversight and management. And we won’t even get into being a wife and mother, or the general capriciousness of life. But even with all of that, not writing my blog is an issue of procrastination, especially in light of how many episodes of House of Cards, This is Us, Timeless and Blackish that were watched within the same four weeks.

When I started working on my MFA back in 2009, I had a thirteen-year old daughter at home, taught writing classes full-time at a small liberal arts college, and lead a women’s Bible study on Saturday mornings, but still found time to write. Procrastination was never an issue. So, why is it a problem now?

Many believe procrastination is a time-management problem, but the Washington Post article, “The real reasons you procrastinate – and how to stop”, suggests it’s more of an emotional management issue. According to Timothy Pychyl, a professor who studies procrastination at Carleton University in Ottawa, the procrastinator believes she must feel good about the task she needs to complete. It becomes an issue of what feels better at the time. The procrastinator gives into the immediate gratification of feeling good in the moment rather than the more fulfilling accomplishment of a completed task.

I am totally an immediate gratification girl. And lately, I’ve been accepting the quick satisfaction of journaling instead of the more complicated blogging. It’s less risky. No one reads it. My procrastination seems to be an issue of the type of writing I give into, rather than avoiding the task completely.

I spend a lot of time writing in my personal journal. My mornings general consists of devotional time with the Lord, followed by writing my morning pages. The practice of writing three pages in the morning came from The Artist Way. They gave the writer access to innate creativity through the authentic first thoughts of the morning. For years, this practice provided deep insight into my writing and life in general. Some of my favorite blogs started on those pages. But lately, there’s an issue of follow-through. Ideas spring up, but never get fully developed. Instead, they lay buried in the pages of my journal.

Don’t miss understand, I am not knocking morning pages. They are what taught me to trust the authenticity of my own voice. But confining my voice to the privacy of my journal has contributed to my silence on many vital issues in our country. Writing about them gets it off my chest, but it does little to give voice to the voiceless. Writers most write and publish.

This point was driven home to me as I left the Capital over a week ago while attending AWP. I sensed a need to use my writing for more than processing my life. As writers, we must stand up for the values we believe in. We can no longer afford to be silent in this contentious and volatile political climate.

It is much more important for me to write about the experience of being rushed out of Georgia Senators Isackson’s and Perdue’s office after thirty minutes by their aides despite being scheduled to meet for an hour. Or to add my voice in support of the affordable care act, planned parenthood, women reproductive rights and immigrants. And to speak out against racism, sexism, and classism. I need to share my experiences as a grieving mother so that others know they aren’t alone.

Being able to write is a precious gift meant to be shared. There is much work to be done to uphold the beliefs and values that established this country. Everyone must do their part. For some it means organizing or actively engaging in the political process by running for office. For others, it means volunteering or donating to organizations that support the marginalized. And to those of us who write, it means telling the stories that need to be told. It means stepping out of our comfort zone with the hope of expanding minds and changing the conversation. All of that to say I am more committed than ever to using my writing as an act of resistance.

So, even though I’ve been silent for the last four weeks, I’m back in the game. No more procrastination. Only writing.

The Writing Process

Five Tips for Writing on the Fly

December 5, 2015 confidentwriterLeave a comment

“Do you home work first, ” was my mother’s constant refrain. As a child it annoyed me, but I obeyed. However, the older I get, the further I move away from that sage advice. My rationale being that I work better under pressure. A fancy way of saying I’m a procrastinator.

After posting my blog last night just minutes before my husband and I had to rush out the door to a holiday party, I vowed to write today’s post earlier. I woke up at 7:30 and grabbed my notebook. But the only thing that came to mind was that I shouldn’t have had that last glass of wine.

I spent the next several hours nursing my hangover.

I contemplated ditching my blog for the day, especially since I had a five o’clock flight back to Atlanta and dinner reservations with friends at eight. But then I received an email from my photography teacher that said not only was she following my thirty-one day blog challenge, but it inspired her.

I panicked. People are actually watching. I can’t just quit when writing becomes inconvenient.

So I came up with five ways to write on the fly:

Plan. It’s a lot easier to compose a piece of writing when you plan ahead. Think about your subject. Read related articles. Jot down notes.
Set aside a specific time to write. The earlier the better so it isn’t hanging over you head all day like the sword of Damacles.
Anticipate distractions and/or obstacles. If you know that interuptions and challenges are always a possibility, you learn to do your homework first. That way if something comes up, your work is done.
Know your priorities. If something is important, we find time.
Be flexible.

Today’s post got written on my iPhone while waiting for my flight to take-off. Not exactly ideal, but writing on the fly is still writing.

Inspirational Musing · Quotes

Stop and Listen

August 1, 2012 confidentwriter4 Comments

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him as a guest. She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he said. But Martha was distracted with all the preparations she had to make, so she came up to him and said, “Lord, don?t you care that my sister has left me to do all the work alone? Tell her to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things, but one thing is needed. Mary has chosen the best part; it will not be taken away from her.

Luke 10:38-42 (NET)

Whenever I hear this story, I tune it out. It reminds me of the mornings when I come downstairs to write only to find a disaster in my kitchen. It’s particularly annoying when I know I specifically instructed one of my children to take care of it the night before. And then there are the times when no one can remember whose week it is so the solutions is just to leave it. My personal favorite is the late night culinary experiments. More cakes get baked at my house between midnight and three a.m. than any other time.

I try to get around the mess by moving a few things to make my morning smoothie, but end up completely cleaning the kitchen. So by the time I finally get to my office to write, I’m fuming. Sometimes, I manage to get over it fairly quickly and can get my writing done. But more often than not, I’m too busy sulking about the fact that no one respects my writing time to get anything done.

So needless to say, I totally get Martha.

But I had an epiphany.

Martha was worried and distracted by many things and Jesus responded by saying only one thing is needed. He made a specific distinction between many things and one thing. I use to think the contemporary version of sitting at the feet of the Lord was to drop everything I was doing, and spend hours studying the Bible in-depth. But that never seemed possible to me because if I did that nothing would ever get done at my house. But fortunately our God is a practical God. He wasn’t suggesting we never do our work. He simply instructs us as to how to accomplish more with less distraction and worry. He says Mary has chosen the best part. She stopped and listened. She focused on one thing.

The Lord speaks in a quiet voice and if we are distracted and worried we won’t be able to hear Him. Maybe the lesson in the story of Martha and Mary is to not get caught up in our distractions, but to spend time with the Lord first so that he can direct our steps.

I tried it recently. I read my devotional and then I asked, “What would you have me do today?” When I got done with my prayer time, it was clear to me that I should spend the day sending off submissions.

The kitchen was a mess, but I ignored it and went straight to my office. I finished up the revision of my short story, sent off six different submissions and wrote out a revision plan for a chapter in my novel. By focusing on one thing at a time I got much more accomplished. And was less worried and distracted and nicer person to be around.

Take some time today to stop and listen. Your day will go much smoother.