Tag: Writing

Back to Blogging
The Writing Life · The Writing Process

Back to Blogging

confidentwriter2 Comments

I’m blogging again.  It’s been a while. I could list a multitude of excuses as to why, but that would serve no real purpose other than to make me feel better. So I’ll spare you.

Since my last blog, I relocated from Atlanta to Tampa. My transition included two apartments, one townhouse, six offers to buy or sell, the purchase of one house and the sale of another, and a storage unit with more boxes than will ever fit in our current home. 

Fortunately, the last two years has also included quite a bit of travel. Most trips have been two to three day little jaunts, accompanying my husband on his business trips. But there have also been a few fun girls trips and lots of wine tasting. My friends and family have gotten so used to me traveling that they frequently start our conversations by asking where I am or when is my next trip.  My life coach teased me once by saying, “Girl, you need to start a travel blog.”

“I should,” I said jokingly.

Although the idea appealed to me, there were a hundred reasons why it wouldn’t work. I didn’t have anything new to contribute to the ton of travel blogs that already exist. Sure, I could write about what to wear to get through TSA quickly or how to efficiently packing a carry-on for multiple events. That’s hardly enough to sustain a blog and not that interesting.

But then I thought about the blog I wrote two years ago. It was a travel blog of sorts. It didn’t give advice about where to stay or what to see. Instead, it talked about how my travel experience affected how I saw myself. (Here’s Vacation Blue, if you missed it.)

I pondered and played with ways to turn this into a travel blog. I even wrote a practice blog about my trip to Portland, Oregon, and spent nearly a month working on a transition piece explaining why I was switching to a travel blog.

But something didn’t feel right.

It felt as if I was moving in the wrong direction. I blamed my discomfort on the fact that I couldn’t get the domain name I wanted. But deep down, I knew I was missing the point. I’m not a travel blogger.

Travel is a big part of my life, but what stirs my soul is encouraging other women to write. That’s why I started this blog in the first place. I wanted to inspire writers, provide positive encouragement, and create a supportive community.

A lot of those ideas actually grew into Minerva Rising Press. Consequently, much of my time is spent editing and publishing women writers in our journals and books. But there is still a personal need to reflect on my own writing and life in general.

So what gives? Why haven’t I been able to sustain the work of this blog?

The answer —  a lack of self-acceptance and an unwillingness to work in the face of uncertainty.

It’s a challenge to write in such a public forum. There’s a fear that the work isn’t good enough and/or that people will reject it and you (the writer). Or that you will be judged for what you share. You have to learn to be comfortable with uncertainty. The work may or may not be good. And people may or may not like you.

Truth is, neither one matters. Your job as a writer is to learn to do the work.

The work stands alone. It isn’t about what anyone thinks of it or if anyone likes you. It’s about actually doing the work. It’s about the process. And the funny thing is, the more you do work, the better it becomes.

I know I make excuses, good excuses — family, responsibilities, commitments, and grief — not to do the work. I also fear being the writing won’t be very good, and/or no one will actually read it. The finished product ends up being the only thing that’s valued.

When we are called to write, it’s not about what others think or even who will read it. It’s about what the process teaches us. We learn to write by writing. Our failures and mistakes are as essential to our growth as our successes. And you can’t make mistakes if you don’t do the work.

“…all art is about starting again.”  —David Bayles &Ted Orland, Art and Fear.

So, I’m back to doing to the work. I hope that as I challenge myself to get back to my desk, you will too.   

Why you may need to implode your story
The Writing Life · The Writing Process

Why you may need to implode your story

confidentwriter2 Comments

One perk of being married to someone in construction management is getting to witness the different phases of building a building. I have been to ground breakings, looked down gigantic holes at poured footings and walked through completed buildings noting unfinished punch-list items before the final walk-through.  All the while learning  the lingo and gaining enough knowledge to be dangerous.

Sunday, I got to watch the implosion of the 14-story Georgia Archive building. The boom of the explosives followed by the collapsing of the building is oddly exhilarating and a little frightening.

Afterwards, I sat in as my husband and his colleagues watched several videos  of the implosion and debriefed. It was fascinating to learn that every step of the 15 seconds process was expected and accounted for, including which way the building fell. It got me to thinking about how imploding our writing may be the very thing we need to build a better story.

As a writer, it’s important to consider the structure of your piece. There are times when the current form doesn’t accurately frame or support the ideas. It may be necessary to implode the whole thing to build a better structure.

One of the witnesses to the implosion Sunday noted during an interview that he didn’t see why they had to tear it down. The witness wasn’t aware that the building was no longer structurally sound or that the state plans to make better use of the land by building a new courthouse complex on the lot.

We might feel the same resistance to tearing down our story, especially if we spent a lot time working on the it. We get attached to our own words, even going as far to call them our ‘babies’.  But sometimes even our best ideas need an overhaul, which may mean blowing the whole thing up.

I recently ran across this very problem while working on the memoir I’m writing about losing my son. Despite the several hours of work, I realized simple revision isn’t going to be enough to savage one of the chapters. It needed to be imploded. That means objectively examining the structure and content to determine why it isn’t working. Then teasing out anything salvageable, which may require thinking about the subject from a different perspective.

Years ago, I wrote a short story about woman who cooks her husband this wonderful dinner the night before she leaves him. The story was written from the perspective of the woman. And not to toot my own horn, but I thought it was a damn good story. Well, unfortunately I was in the minority. A group of writers in one writing workshop thought the protagonist was a bitch for leaving her hard-working husband. For years, I held on to the belief that they just didn’t understand her and continued to submit the story to various literary magazines. Needless to say, not one magazine or journal accepted it. Then a group of writers, who I trusted and respected, suggested I examine the structure and rewrite the story.

I resisted the idea at first, because I didn’t want to destroy what was there. But it had to be done. I looked at the story from the husband’s perspective, which added more texture. I changed the name and resubmitted it to various publications. After a few more rejections, it was published by Mused BellaOnline Literary Review [Read “A Fresh Start”].

Perhaps the story would have found a home in its original form, but the action of imploding my work helped me to grow as a writer. Now I’m not afraid to completely re-think a piece. I see it as playing with the ideas and don’t feel any pressure to get it right.  If it doesn’t work, I try something else.

Fortunately, writing differs from construction in that we can always go back to the way things used to be thanks to wonders of technology. But more often than not, we end up with a stronger and more well-written piece.

 

 

 

 

December Writing Challenge · The Writing Process

Twenty-two days and counting 

confidentwriterLeave a comment

Day 22. 

I count the days much like I did when I quit smoking. Three days since my last cigarette. Ten days since my last cigarette. Twenty-two days since my last cigarette. 

Counting reminded me of how far I had come. It helped strengthen my willpower when I wanted to quit. Did really I want to start at day one again?

That’s the question I’m faced with as I face today’s blog. I’m tired of trying to figure out what to write. There is so much I need to do to get ready for Christmas Day. Not to mention the fact that I desperately need a day off. It’s like having unfinished homework hanging over your head everyday.

I gave up cigarettes for lent in 1994, and for forty days all I thought about was smoking. I kept telling myself all I had to do was make it to Easter Sunday. If I wanted one after that, then I could have one. Though the craving was intense at times, I perserved. By the time Easter came around, I no longer had a desire for cigarettes. Shortly after that, I stopped counting. 

But then my husband and I decided to spend a week with our families between Christmas and New Years. By New Year’s Eve my stress level was off the charts. Eight months of being smoke free no longer mattered. I wanted and had a cigarette. 

It tasted horrible and did nothing for my stress. I started my count again. 

Coming up with a new idea to write about everyday is challenging. It would be a lot easier to build on an existing idea. Your brain could focus on how to expand or develop what you already have. Ideas percolate overnight and pour easier on the page the next day. 

Thinking  about this concept makes me wonder why it’s been so hard to finish the revisions on my novel. Something to consider for a future blog. 

In the meantime, I’ve made through another day. The counting continues. 

December Writing Challenge · Depression

Sad and tired

confidentwriterLeave a comment

It was hard to come to the page today. Every thing inside of me is ready to give up on this whole blog idea. Most of those feelings stem from the fact that I’m tired and sad. 

I’ve felt that way when I woke up, but dragged myself to yoga in hopes of lifting my spirits. All throughout class, I struggled not to cry. I know that kind of goes against the point of yoga, but crying in yoga is a trigger for me. The summer before Matt died I wept through every class. I thought the tears were the result of the tension between my husband and I. Our last child was about to go away to college and for the first time in twenty-six years it would just be the two us. Regrets from the past and uncertainty for future, made both of us emotional. However, the more I think about how deeply I wept that summer, I can’t help but wonder if there was something in my spirit that knew. Crying in yoga brings up an impending sense of doom.

I made it through the class without crying, but then the yoga teacher came over to encourage me. She told me not to worry about not being able to do all the poses. She shared a story about how when she was a little girl her ballet teacher insisted that she learn the splits in a week. She couldn’t, so she quit ballet. A few years ago she finally learned how to do the splits, but only on one side. I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. I hugged and thanked her, then rushed out of class.

My mood sank lower. And though I have managed to get a few things done today, I really just want to lose myself in a book.

But then there was today’s blog and the whole December blog challenge. Was I ready to give up? Couldn’t I just be proud of the fact that I made it through fifteen days.? Would not writing make me feel better? Or would I feel worse?

I don’t want to give up, but it’s really hard to put yourself out there when you’re feeling down. The fear of judgement or additional hurt can be overwhelming. That’s why people tend to hide their sadness. It feels safer, even though it isn’t.

“So don’t be frightened, dear friend, if a sadness confronts you larger than any you have ever known, casting its shadow over all you do. You must think that something is happening within you, and remember that life has not forgotten you; it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall. Why would you want to exclude from your life any uneasiness, any pain, any depression, since you don’t know what work they are accomplishing within you?”

? Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

It’s much more fun to write about things that make me happy, but sadness is a part of me too. I have to be willing to let it come through my writing. So though it’s not my best piece, today’s blog is done. 

Until next time. . .

Books · The Writing Life

Reading is Fundmental

confidentwriter2 Comments

Sometimes the hardest thing about writing is getting started. First, you fight the internal battle to sit your bum in the chair. Once you actually sit, you have to figure out what to write. Then there’s the issue of having an idea in your head only to forget it the moment you open a document on the computer. Or if your remember what you wanted to write, you can’t think of how to say it. The words don’t seem to make sense. 

This situation reminds of the advice I read in Writing Down the Bones. Natalie Goldberg suggested that writers keep a page in their notebook with ideas of potential topics. But there are times when even coming up with a list can be a struggle.  A few days ago, I tried to develop a list but ended up writing things like Oreo cookies, ocean waves or asking questions like why am I stuck.  And while that type of question could be inspirational, it’s usually the result of a deeper existential crisis, which by the way never inspires me to write. So I’m left either whining about my life or writing about how I don’t know what to write about. Not exactly the type of thing that awakens one’s muse.

Whenever I’m stuck in a rut, it’s usually because I’m spending too much time in my head. I allow myself to frequent those dark places that rehash old hurts and play out terrifying what-ifs. Sometimes those thoughts are so overwhelming that I find myself saddened to the point of tears.  And as a result, not only don’t I write, I don’t read either. It’s as if I check out of the writer’s life. 

To be honest, I have struggled with this issue on and off for the last year or so.  But recently I bought Call me, Zelda by Erika Robuck from a local
independent bookstore. I had gone to hear another writer speak, but I found myself more intrigued by the cover of Robuck’s book. It reminded me of The Great Gatsby.  Turns out Zelda Fitzgerald was one of the characters in the novel. The story is about the friendship that forms between Zelda and her psychiatric nurse, Anna Howard. Like many fictionalized stories of famous writers, the story dealt with elements of the writing life. In fact, early in the novel Anna encourages Zelda to write in order to aid in her healing. I was excited by the whole premise, because it reminded me of the novel I’m revising about a woman who develops a mentoring relationship with Langston Hughes. I knew it would inspire my writing in some way. But what I hadn’t expected was how strongly my muse responded to Zelda’s reasons for not sharing her work with F. Scott Fitzgerald, her husband. I stopped reading, pulled out my journal and wrote continuously for the next forty-five minutes.

I hadn’t realized how much reading fed my spirit. It is a conduit to creativity and awakens my muse.  Natalie Goldberg writes:

 . . your writing comes out of a relationship with your life and its texture.

Reading is an essential part of the writing life. It gives us fresh eyes with which to view our world. It ask questions and challenges us to think in new ways. It engages our senses and makes the writer within come alive. When we find ourselves struggling to put words on the page, it may be an indication that we aren’t reading enough or the right type of things to foster a sense of curiosity, indignation or wonder.

Have you read today?

The Writing Life

The Next Big Thing: Cora’s Kitchen

confidentwriter3 Comments

Isla McKetta, author of the forthcoming Murmurs of the River, tagged me to interview myself in The Next Big Thing blog chain. Isla is a novelist and book reviewer with the most infectious smile. She is on the board of Hugo House in Seattle, Washington. Not only is Isla a beloved friend, but she has consistently encouraged me to be true to my art. Be sure to check out her blog at the A Geography of Reading.

Now on to the ten questions about my new project:

What is your working title of your book (or story)?

Cora’s Kitchen

Where did the idea come from for the book?

The idea came from several conversations with a friend about our mothers. We used to tease about writing a book where the two of them became friends. The question of what that friendship would be like, given their differences in race, education and social class, became an obsession for me. And it only seemed natural to push the idea to the 1920’s since I’ve always been fascinated with that time period.

What genre does your book fall under?

Literary Fiction

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

I’d love to see Viola Davis as Cora. Michael Early would be the perfect Langston Hughes. And Anne Hathaway would play the part of Eleanor.

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

An African-American woman, who longs to be a writer, learns to embrace her dream through an unlikely friendship with Langston Hughes and a wealthy white woman.  

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

Though I am seriously considering self-publishing, I would love to have an agent represent the book.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

It took me about a year and a half to write the first draft and about six weeks for a second full revision. It has spent the last year and a half marinating in a box. Now I’m back for another revision.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

I’d compare Cora’s Kitchen to The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows because it is also a collection of letters and journal entries. But Cora’s Kitchen could also be compared to The Help because it is tells the story of racism and sexism during a time when African American women didn’t have a voice.

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

African American history is so marred in the violence of slavery, Jim Crow laws and the fight for civil rights that it’s difficult to remember that there was more to life than the struggle. African American people had dreams. They feel in love. They planned for the future. I wanted to write about a period in history where African Americans were alive with hope and creativity.

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

Cora’s Kitchen is epistolary novel that uses poetry and literature to ask the question: how does a woman claim herself in midst of her responsibilities and roles? Also, there are lots of writing tips within the book that were used by Langston Hughes himself.

NEXT UP ON THE NEXT BIG THING

Thanks for reading about Cora’s Kitchen. Check out the following writers next week to learn more about their upcoming projects.

Icess Fernandez Rojas is a fiction writer, blogger and journalist. She has a MFA in Creative Writing from Goddard College and lives in Shreveport, Louisiana. Icess is a social media goddess and the person to go to if you want something done. Her story, “Beginnings,” appeared in the inaugural issue of Minerva Rising.

Kim Green‘s debut novel, Hallucination, beautifully chronicles one woman’s journey after being diagnosed with Lupus (an autoimmune disorder). For the last four years, she is the leader of the UUCA Women Writers Group and was the chair person for their 2011 conference, Getting in Touch with the Source.  I’m so grateful to Kim for pulling me into the fold of her writing group and helping me to find a writing community in Atlanta.

Sandra Marchetti is a poet who recently won The Midwest Writing Center Mississippi Valley Chapbook Contest. She lives in the Chicago area and teaches writing at Elmhurst College. Sandra recently become the Poetry Editor at Minerva Rising and hit the ground running. I feel very lucky to have her as a part of our team.

 

The Writing Life

Getting Back to It

confidentwriter4 Comments

I’ve been out of the loop of writing this blog. I don’t actually have any particular excuse for stopping. It’s sort of like exercising. One day of not working out becomes two days and the next thing you know you haven’t been to the gym in four months. And though I didn’t gain any weight, my writing became slightly sluggish. So I avoided blogging.

But there was this constant buzzing in my head asking me when I planned to get back to the blog. It’s the same annoying voice that bugs me about cleaning out my closet and organizing my cabinets. Try as I might to ignore her, she is persistent.

Then God stepped in and administered the divine two by four to get my attention.

The owner of a local antique shop asked me to teach a blogging class at her store.

I panicked. How could I teach a blogging class when I no longer blogged?

“Wait,” I thought, “I blog once a month on the Minerva Rising Blog.”

Of course, God doesn’t work that way. When He wants you to do something, He means for you to listen.

I get to the class and my only student is the friend who got me to start blogging in the first place. It seemed odd that she would be taking a class on blogging since she had a wonderful blog. Well, it turns out she hadn’t blogged in several months and was looking for guidance on how to get back on track with her blog.

Funny, huh?

So there I was face to face with my own predicament. Suddenly, I was forced to figure out how to get back on track myself.

None of this was by chance. God has really been dealing with me lately about finishing what I start and the blog is only the tip of the iceberg. He has also been nudging me about the novel that’s shoved in a box in the corner of my office. He’s been saying it’s time to revise it and get it out into the world.

To be frank, I’m scared. What if I don’t have what it takes to revise it yet another time? What if it isn’t any good? But I’m reminded of what the senior pastor of Community Christian Church in Naperville, Dave Ferguson, once said: “Work like it depends on you, but pray like it depends on God.”

So, I’m diving back into blogging as the Confident Writer with a new twist. I will now be blogging about the process of revising a novel. My weekly post will be about my individual progress on the novel as well as the process of revision. Occasionally, I might throw in a post on what I’m reading or what motivates me.

I hope you will come along for the ride as I get back to living the writing life.

 

 

 

 

 

Quotes · The Writing Life

My Little Secret

confidentwriter4 Comments

I’ve been keeping a secret from the followers of this blog. I’m not quite sure why I haven’t written about it before. Nonetheless, here it is.

I started a literary magazine designed to celebrate the creativity and wisdom in every woman. It’s called Minerva Rising. The idea came to me in January while I was planning my goals for the year. One of my goals was to get my short stories into a literary goal. I went through the Literary Journal and Magazine database on Poets and Writers, but most of the journals seemed too experimental or academic for my stories. None of them focused on the everyday life of women. I began to imagine a literary journal that would publish the types of stories women share with one another – kind of like a girl’s night out in print.

Girl’s night out is so important because it’s a time when women get together to share the stories of their lives. Sure there’s lots of wine and martinis, but there is also a strong sense of camaraderie. Women are empowered through the exchange of ideas and the sharing of experiences. There’s a communal understanding of the various roles we play and the sacrifices we make. We find validation and acceptance.

Toni Morrison says:

“If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”

So I decided to start the journal I wanted to read.

Now this isn’t the first time I’ve thought of starting a magazine. Nine years ago, I bought the book Starting & Running a Successful Newsletter or Magazine by Cheryl Woodard.

But I actually never read it. I simply came up with a theme for the first issue and wrote the letter from the editor. I asked a friend to join the effort, but it never got much further than my letter and an unfinished article of friendship.

But this time I spent a fair amount of time thinking about the magazine’s focus. I knew if the foundation was strong enough, it would develop the momentum and strength to stand on it’s own. I combined my life long mission of empowering women with my love of literature and art. And as you know from “Support Your Local Independent Bookstore”, I’m a sucker for anything in print, so I knew the journal would have to be in print.

I shared the idea with three women whose talents and knowledge seemed to be just what a project like this needed. Each one of them loved the idea and wanted to be a part of it. Together we began to build Minerva Rising.

It’s amazing what it has grown into in just six short months. We have not only come up with our name, logo and mission, but we’ve also accepted sixteen pieces of literature and poetry from our first round of submissions. Our first issue will be in print the first week in September.

I share all of this, in part, to indirectly explain my somewhat sporadic posts the last few months. Most of my time has been spent on getting Minerva Rising up and running. As a way to get people excited about the project, we started a literary blog called The Keeping Room. It’s a casual forum where we share stories related to the current them of the journal. My Associate Editor, Dulcie Witman and I share writing responsibility for the blog. There’s a new post every Monday. Check it out. This week I write about painting and perfectionism.

Now that the secret is out, take a look at our website. Let me know what you think.

I’ll be sure to keep you in the loop going forward.

Books · Home

The Quiet Desperation of Suburban Living

confidentwriter3 Comments

I was tempted to jump on the holiday bandwagon and make this blog about Christmas, but I just finished Freedom by Jonathan Franzen and had to write about it. I probably would not have read the novel if a friend from my writing group hadn’t recommended. She thought it might be useful to my writing, because my short stories had similar themes. I wasn’t familiar with Franzen’s writing because I had a bias against him. Back when I was a Oprah fan, he refused to appear on her show when his earlier novel, The Corrections, was selected for Oprah’s Book Club. I thought he was a pompous asshole and sort of vowed not to read anything by him.  Boy was that a wrong call.

The casual way Franzen began the story drew me in immediately:

The news about Walter Berglund wasn’t picked up locally – he and Patty had moved away to Washington two years earlier and meant nothing to St. Paul now – but the urban gentry of Ramsey Hill were not so loyal to their city as not to read the New York Times.

That simple sentence told me a lot about the setting and the characters – an excellent example of showing rather than telling, by the way.  The other morning, while I was outside with my dogs,  a man driving a grey sedan flung a New York Times on my driveway before proceeding down the street to deliver more papers to my neighbors.

I understood the people Franzen was writing about. Walter and Patty Berglund could have easily been one of my neighbors. But what really won me over is the way Franzen captured the quiet desperation of the suburban middle class:

Where did the self-pity come from? The inordinate volume of it? By almost any standard, she led a luxurious life. She had all day every day to figure out some decent and satisfying way to live, and yet all she ever seemed to get for all her choices and all her freedom was more miserable. The autobiographer is almost forced to the conclusion that she pitied herself for being so free.

Freedom exposes the alcoholism, adultery and marital discord hidden behind the facade of suburban living. And though I haven’t experienced all of the things Franzen writes about, I’ve had enough issues in my marriage and with my children to understand Patty and Walter Berglund.  Their story reminded me of the people in my old neighborhood in suburban Chicago. The homes were so beautiful and well maintained, but on the inside people suffered in silence because no one wanted their neighbors to know what was really going on inside of their homes. I remember being devastated when I heard about a neighbor who took her life. Her adult son had been killed in a car accident. I remembered seeing her son’s car in the driveway. I never thought twice about it when I didn’t see it anymore. The friend who told me the story said the woman moved after his death, and then took her life. I can’t help but wonder what may have happened if her neighbors had known about her son and gathered around to support her. I know this is an extreme example, but the recycling bins full of beer and wine bottles sitting on the curb Wednesday mornings suggest that there is too much left unsaid.

The reviews on Goodreads are fairly split on Freedom. You either love it or hate it. I stand with those who loved it. Reading about people with similar social and economic background gives me insight into my own life. It also confirmed an inclination I’ve had recently to write stories about men and women much like myself who suffer in silence from loneliness and depression. I felt encouraged by Franzen’s honesty. I hope as a writer that I am able to be as honest in my writing.

If you’ve read Freedom, what’s your take on the novel and Jonathan Franzen?

I recently read Franzen’s 10 rules for Writing Fiction on 101 books.  The list originally came from The Guardian.

1 The reader is a friend, not an adversary, not a spectator.

2 Fiction that isn’t an author’s personal adventure into the frightening or the unknown isn’t worth writing for anything but money.

3 Never use the word “then” as a ­conjunction – we have “and” for this purpose. Substituting “then” is the lazy or tone-deaf writer’s non-solution to the problem of too many “ands” on the page.

4 Write in the third person unless a ­really distinctive first-person voice ­offers itself irresistibly.

5 When information becomes free and universally accessible, voluminous research for a novel is devalued along with it.

6 The most purely autobiographical ­fiction requires pure invention. Nobody ever wrote a more auto­biographical story than “The Meta­morphosis”.

7 You see more sitting still than chasing after.

8 It’s doubtful that anyone with an internet connection at his workplace is writing good fiction.

9 Interesting verbs are seldom very interesting.

10 You have to love before you can be relentless.

I love number two and seven.  Number eight offended me. Turns out checking Facebook and email does inhibit my creativity and limit my productivity.  Go figure.

In spite of our bumpy beginning, Franzen may just become a new favorite. I’m off to purchase The Corrections.

The Writing Life

Flip-Flop State of Mind

confidentwriter1 Comment

Two weeks ago, I was walking down the stairs into my backyard, slipped on an acorn, fell onto the pine straw, and rolled down the hill. When I finally stopped, one ankle was twisted behind me and the other one bent in front of me. I lay there thinking there is no way I’m going to be able to stand on the pine straw in my blinged-out wedge flip-flops. The surface of pine straw is slippery even in the most practical footwear. Fortunately, my friend was in the backyard and heard me fall. After checking to see if I was okay, we both laughed as we tried to figure out how I was going to stand up.

After a bit of deliberation, I grabbed onto my friend’s arm and slowly straightened one foot and then the other. Amazingly, I was able to bear weight on both ankles. Though I felt the initial soreness from the fall, adrenaline prevented me from feeling the real pain.

Reluctantly, I changed into a pair of flat flip-flops. The shoes I was wearing looked better with my outfit and prevented my jeans from dragging the ground, but I had a ton of errands to run and feared I might really hurt myself walking around in high heels.

I took both dogs to the vet, straightened up the house, and went to my acupuncture appointment. The fall seemed to have little effect on me until I lay on the table to receive my treatment. Both ankles throbbed and ached like crazy. It didn’t surprise me when the acupuncturist informed me both of my ankles were sprained. It made sense considering the way they were sprawled in different directions. She gave me some herbs to reduce the swelling and then told me I needed to wear a more supportive shoe than flip-flops. I left her office more annoyed that she challenged my flip-flops than the fact that both of my ankles were sprained.

Admittedly, I have a shoe fetish. Nothing makes me happier than strolling through Nordstrom’s shoe department. I rarely leave empty-handed. Consequently, I have more shoes than I would ever publicly document. I made that mistake once when I shared the number with my husband. I thought he would find it amusing. He didn’t. He just uses it to keep a running tally. Needless to say, I love shoes. And of all the shoes I have, flip-flops are my absolute favorite. Since we moved to Atlanta, I wear them nine months out of the year in Atlanta. I have a variety of colors and styles. When I put on a pair of flip-flops, a sense of freedom washes over me. I’m relaxed and open. I feel more creative. I just want to have fun. It’s a whole flip-flop mindset.

This may be a stretch, but I think the flip-flop mindset can be applied to writing. Creativity is at its best when we allow ourselves the freedom to be playful with our craft.

I wouldn’t describe myself as naturally playful. I’ve been thinking a lot about how to be more playful and have more fun. I get mired in the yuck of the subjects that I write about. So, I challenged myself to participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). I decided to try my hand at a semi-romance (not a real genre, but who cares). Anyway, I had so much fun just playing with my characters and the storyline. I began to wonder why I didn’t write like that more often.

Then it occurred to me, I write like a pair of practical shoes.

I’m too considered about personal comfort. I’m confined to a fixed process, style, and voice, because it has worked in the past. I don’t let myself experiment. And while there are times when practical shoes are appropriate, there are other options.

Sometimes you need to be like a pair of sneakers to withstand the hard work of revision.

Other times you need to slip on a sexy pair of pumps to make your writing elegant and sleek. And then there are times when you need to put on a pair of flip-flops to have some fun. Understanding your mindset and what works best for the time is an important part of building your confidence as a writer.

T I have been wearing a pair of shoes I would have never bought if both ankles weren’t sprained. When I look down at my feet, I groan at their lack of style and the fact that I can’t see my toes. But when I walk, I realize I am wearing the appropriate type of shoes for my current situations. As writers, we have to be adaptable to where we are mentally, emotionally, and physically. Wearing the right mindset can be as important as the right pair of shoes.